Today, according to my dad, I’m not a real man because I didn’t spend my 21st birthday alone in the mountains, hunting to feed myself and building my own survival shelter like he did and his father did. Well sorry dad, you raised me in a city miles from any mountains FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, on my 21st birthday, my dad handed me £12,000 and revealed he’d been saving my rent. When I asked what for, he told me it was to rent my first house because now I’m 21, he’s throwing my ass out. Neither me or nor my mom could talk him round, and unless I’m out by next week, he’ll start smashing my possessions. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My father didn't get me a birthday present or do anything for me, and acted as though he only came to visit because it was expected. Yet when it was his birthday a couple months ago, he expected me to take him out and pay for it FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, despite the fact that I've lived alone for four years, and have a well-paid job, my father is still whining about, "Why am I still playing video games at age 32?" FML
Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML
Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You should have celebrated by dumpster diving for food and sheltering under a bridge. That'll show your dad and grandpa real survival skills, those tree-hugging fairies.
cuz803 46
Silly masculine rite of passage by the mentality of a foolish libertarian. There's nothing wrong with a libertarian lifestyle that your dad and grandad did but there's nothing wrong with being a city dweller. And like you said, since he raised you in urban environments, he's to blame for you not being a 'real man' to his standards. Don't let it bother you, OP. You're a real man in your own right so disregard his opinion.
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Comments (5)
cuz803 46
Silly masculine rite of passage by the mentality of a foolish libertarian. There's nothing wrong with a libertarian lifestyle that your dad and grandad did but there's nothing wrong with being a city dweller. And like you said, since he raised you in urban environments, he's to blame for you not being a 'real man' to his standards. Don't let it bother you, OP. You're a real man in your own right so disregard his opinion.
RichardPencil 32
You should have celebrated by dumpster diving for food and sheltering under a bridge. That'll show your dad and grandpa real survival skills, those tree-hugging fairies.
Justkidding100 41
any idiot can survive 24 hours... how is that a test of anything. your dad probably ate a mercurial fish under a wet tree and then went home next morning hungover. sounds boring
cpguru24 18
This sounds like an over exaggeration. Probably more like you wining "I don't want to go to camp. too many bugs..."