Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
waffule365 16
at least your friends being helpful?
theWanderer011 11
Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
Pokeracid 7
This is funny because I live in South Africa... hahahaha
420Zombie 17
I'm sure you'll still be laughing it up when you're getting raped then?
tialeanne 19
Seems normal to me considering I carry a knife and pepper spray with me everywhere I go...
420Zombie 17
true that, many women of every country carry concealable weapons like that
tialeanne 19
And I don't see anything wrong with it! No matter who or where you are, you should always carry a weapon of self-defense. In my opinion, obviously.
Johnnie_Snow 12
#122 I completely agree. It doesn't matter if you're in Africa or Antarctica. Safe is better than sorry.
spaboolly 26
It's always a good idea to be aware of local crime statistics when travelling to an area you are (presumably) not very familiar with. Seems like she is just looking out for you to make sure you are prepared. Ignorance of danger does not make it go away.
oj101 33
Actually OP, I think you'll appreciate it. My friend lives in SA- it's a beautiful country but it has so many problems, especially in the cities. They live in one of the nicer neighborhoods, but electric barbed wires, sleeping next to a pistol and having 2 pit bulls seem to be the norm. There is an intense fear of crime everyday for all aspects of society. The only truly safe spots are tourist hideaways and safaris/or private farms. But have a nice time OP- it's a beautiful place nevertheless, just be careful of when, where and how you go out.
diversgal 9
No tourist places are more dangerous actually! I am South African, I know this for fact. It's one of the highest crime countries in the world.
MiloBear 11
I have to say, barbed wire is usually used in bad areas. I live in a nice neighbourhood in SA and there is no barbed wire around here, although there could be electric fences since I don't go around touching them. And my family refuses to have guns in the house, never owned a dog either. Your friend is paranoid.
stargirl_95 24
I've lived in South Africa my entire life and although we do have high walls, electric fencing, and alarm systems, I don't know anyone who owns a gun, and we don't own dogs. Sleeping next to a gun isn't really the norm here.
princesspuffypan 10
Truth!
KM96 24
Should you be alarmed?
RebornUnicorn 16
Well, it's better to be safe than sorry OP
tutikushi 10
I had a South African friend when I was living in East Sussex, she gave me a taser on my birthday, telling that it would help me protect myself. I did not understand what she meant until i visited her in SA and saw her beat the crap out of an unknown guy.
LouisianaBob 9
"beat the crap out of an unknown guy." What did he do?
Vlykarye 2
"whom"
pbonham 22
The crime rate in South Africa is incredibly high