Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
inkstains 0
#8: "there must be a reason for the abroad program" Yeah, women ONLY travel and go to school to get laid. Right. I'm sure there IS a reason, but it's likely that sex is not her main goal.
marris 0
If you can't take a joke, why'd you give her the condoms in the first place. Seriously, think about a suitcase - who would put condoms on top of their clothes and not in one of the pockets for little items.
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Comments (105)
LMFAOsabrina 0
After she comes back, find that condom pack and check if any are missing :D
deathmajestic 0
i niether know nor care what that girl is thinking but i do know that shes getting laid. so you might as well to
Emika_fml 0
Maybe she took it with her as a reminder of you.... but I second #1 ;)
jjessen 20
If I were OP, I would have taken the condoms so when she arrived at her destination, she wouldn't be able to get laid without going out and buying more, if getting laid while studying abroad was on her list of things to do
ToxicTyrael 26
#99 Whether she pays for them or not. Cheating is cheating!
donttread22 0
I 69 #1, with that said pack of condoms. LOL jk
IndigoKitty 3
Hmm, to be honest, doesn't sound like the kind of thing people take with them for reminders of people. I'd be worried.
Good_old_Grim 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Study abroad program... so she's leaving for like... a semester at least? The only way EITHER of you are staying faithful through that, is if you can't get any anyway.
teentee401 37
Have fun being alone forever. Great attitude about relationships you have there
ToxicTyrael 26
I applaude #101 #5 You are an asshole !
ByFender_fml 0
maybe you should throw her away...
phantasm 0
it was a silly joke, whether or not.
King_of_Kings 3
DUDE. DUMP HER RIGHT NOW! she's gonna cheat on you. those condoms arent a reminder type of thing. a picture of you is a reminder. this is an abroad college which is outside the country most of the time. you gotta get out now before you get cheated on. Trust Me! you dont want that type of girl. there must be a reason for the abroad program. think about it. it would be easier for her to cheat if she is in another country. do what you want but i suggest you Get Out Now!
inkstains 0
#8: "there must be a reason for the abroad program" Yeah, women ONLY travel and go to school to get laid. Right. I'm sure there IS a reason, but it's likely that sex is not her main goal.
399 41
Well said #8.
blue_dude 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why dont you try trusting her
JoelsLastNight 18
Are you serious? If you had a girl or boy and they had that you'd be worried fck tard