Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
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Top comments
waffule365 16
at least your friends being helpful?
theWanderer011 11
Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!
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Comments (171)
yusaku02 20
That was very thoughtful of your friend. You will likely need both on multiple occasions. You should know how dangerous it is in Africa before choosing to go there.
SeepingSarcasm 7
No, she wouldn't. Stop being an idiot.
stargirl_95 24
As long as she stays out of the really dodgy areas then she actually may not ever need to use either.
yusaku02 20
SeepingSarcasm - Very appropriate name given your response ;)
Jag_v 7
You have a good friend
SeepingSarcasm 7
South Africa is not that bad. Yes it's worse than say, US and Brittain, but it still doesn't mean we're in a constant state of panic and gang wars or any other constant danger. Although I do understand why so many people from other countries think we are when I read some of the comments from some of the sad, hatefull South Africans commenting here. With some logic thinking and basic precautions, you would be fine OP, without using the taser or pepper-spray!
gracehi 33
Still, it wouldn't hurt to have pepper spray and a taser.
SeepingSarcasm 7
That is very true also. Especially seeing that a lot of the times a tourist would be seen as an easy target. My point remains though, SA is not as bad as everybody thinks.
vladimirnabokov 15
I'm going to India for two months with my best friend next year. Her family lives in Andra Pradesh and they STILL don't like the idea of us going into the city. It's always good to exercise caution in foreign countries. They told me that I'll just cause lots of attention by walking down the street because I look white. However I'm sure I'll be fine and so will you OP. Better to be safe and not need the mace or taser than to need it and not have it :)
Kirstie93 5
That's South Africa for ya
MyS3lf 24
By the sound of it I REALLY think you need to do some research on South Africa A.S.A.P., it's one of the most unsafe places in the world. I do not envy you even a tiny bit. Definitely FYL.
cradle6 13
Britain passed up South Africa in crime rate. So since Britain is more dangerous than S. Africa, OP is actually better off.
Dexter741 5
Come here on a diplomatic passport and bring a gun with a lot of ammo...
Lex016 6
Trust me, I'm from SA, you may actually end up using them
MiloBear 11
I have lived in South Africa for most of my life. We don't own guns or dogs or anything like that. Our house has been burgled twice, both times by street kids. We don't feel anger towards them since they are a bunch of 8-14 year olds who go around asking for food, we shrug and say they probably need it more than we do. I have never been mugged or raped, even though I've been going to universities in the middle of town for the past four years. I asked my mom to buy me pepper spray when I started walking home alone from school at age 14 but never had any reason to use it. Just use your common sense, don't wander about in dodgy areas, don't wait at traffic lights with your windows down, don't walk outside at night without a buddy. I'm sure these rules apply in most countries.
MyS3lf 24
Yeah, um, they don't actually.
gracehi 33
^ Yeah they do. I hope you wise up for your own good.
MyS3lf 24
Um, no. I can actually stop at any stoplight I want with my windows open without a care in the world. Likewise I can walk down the street at any hour of the day or night unarmed and fear nothing. You can't do that in South Africa, can you? I'll check nothing, and you can kindly **** OFF. Wise up? How about move to an area that isn't inherently shitty, m'kay?
functional 13
these rules don't apply in much of the US, like where I grew up. I'm now going to college in a place where they do apply.