Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
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Top comments
waffule365 16
at least your friends being helpful?
theWanderer011 11
Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!
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Comments (171)
ishaaq97 0
I live in South Africa and I can tell you its not that bad.
diversgal 9
You've obviously haven't been attacked in your own home!!!
tgbvfr 8
Depends where in SA you live. I was in CT for 15 years and had to carry pepper spray with me everywhere. Smaller towns (Knysna etc) were okay, cities not so much. It's why I eventually left my home country and don't want to go back, despite the beauty.
stargirl_95 24
You must not live in a large city. My home has been broken into 5 times, so I'd say that it's pretty bad.
knoxxx 22
A female foreigner in South Africa is in a lot more danger than someone who has lived there for a while or their entire life. She won't know where anything is, what areas are dangerous, what people to avoid. And all things considered, OP will be much better off having some form of protection in case she needs it.
Sasha92_fml 3
And you dont think that could happen anywhere in the world?
knoxxx 22
No, I don't. South Africa is the only place in the entire world where you can be in danger. Wtf kind of question is that? Don't be so butt hurt. This FML is about South Africa, so why would we be talking about other countries?
JanisEvans 10
If that surprises you, OP, you're clearly not prepared to go to SA.
notimaginary 7
If you don't want to go, I am happy to! I would give my left arm for a trip to South Africa. What a beautiful place with amazing people xxx
lulzcoaster 3
sounds like amazingly rapey
incendiaaa 23
not FML . it's an actual lifestyle, depending where you are in South Africa.
ileenefudge 29
Really? I didn't know that. I learned something new today.
VoiceMail 12
Welcome to Joburg. : D
FarFromSocial 9
Don't use it all in one place
Evgeny2222 11
What surprises you? That's the harsh reality of the most of the world beyond Europe. I live in Russia, and people here are sometimes killed for a cell phone, or for accidentally stepping on someone's foot. That's why I always carry a knife in the pocket. Still, it's most likely not that bad.
p36288 17
Welcome to China. Normal people might never have a chance to see a gun or bullet in the whole life.
gracehi 33
I have two questions: are you referencing China's gun control laws, or China's gun crime rate? Second, what do either of those things have to do with this FML?
buddy51 23
At least she's giving you some gifts you will really really need!!!
gracehi 33
Well, hopefully, she doesn't need them, but it's good to have them in case she does.