Today, I was hungry. Lacking money, I went into a Wawa and snagged a few tasty snacks, then walked out. Some damn do-gooder followed me out, shouting, "HE DIDN'T PAY!! THAT MAN DID NOT PAY!" I got my snacks confiscated and myself banned for life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I overheard a waitress calling me a cheapskate because I left a $2 tip on a $9 tab. When I told her she was ungrateful, rude, and unprofessional, she burst into tears and told the manager I’d threatened her. I was then banned from the restaurant, all while the little twat smirked. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, at the self-checkout, I didn't have enough money for honey, so I just walked out with it and ended up getting caught. Now I have to hold a sign in front of the store wearing a big bumblebee costume. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
Today, at my store, I had an old man violently accuse me of charging him for an extra pack of 99¢ Mounds candy yesterday. He held up my line for 10 minutes, fighting me about it. I didn't even work yesterday. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML
Today, in a market, an old lady stood beside me for a few moments, not saying a word, before turning to me and screaming that I'd taken the money out of her purse. Security was called and I was given the ultimatum to either go to jail or give her the money back. Now I have no food for next week. FML
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Top comments
JackWood 21
If you are starving don't steal. Ask for help. Most people willing help the starving. Don't steal
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'd feel bad for you if you hadn't chosen to use the phrase "damn do-gooder". I get the impression you're just a dick who can't budget.
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Comments (3)
DLBL 23
You should be in jail. You got off easy, thief.
BB_Skylar 22
that sucks. especially if it really was just a few snacks, do gooders don't realize that some people are actually starving, and the do gooders of course wouldn't be damned to help. hopefully there is a food bank near you and i've heard the process of getting on SNAP (food stamps) is pretty quick m
JackWood 21
If you are starving don't steal. Ask for help. Most people willing help the starving. Don't steal
DLBL 23
All of a sudden OP was "Starving." He/she could not plan ahead and hit a food shelf or any of the numerous food resources available ahead of time? OP hasn't learned that they need food every day and this hunger was just SPRUNG on them? And you want starving? Go to South Sudan and witness kwashiorkor. Excusing crime is the problem.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'd feel bad for you if you hadn't chosen to use the phrase "damn do-gooder". I get the impression you're just a dick who can't budget.