Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
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Top comments
waffule365 16
at least your friends being helpful?
theWanderer011 11
Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!
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Comments (171)
BVBARMY1238 9
That's sweet. That's my kind of gift. A gift to protect me.
westboundcali 13
Makes you wonder.
xkncas 8
That's South Africa for you. It's not exactly a great place. :-/
Sasha92_fml 3
And you would know how?
Zilchie14 6
I have lived in South Africa for 16 years of my life and I think it is amazing. It is definitely a unique kind of living :) Don't do anything that you wouldn't do anywhere else and you'll be fine.
pipc 10
Not even kidding, you'll probably need it.
chottu 16
I'm sorry but what did you think you were going to need in South Africa, it's one of the most dangerous places in the world. Did you not thoroughly research the country which you are going to stay in for two months?!
beX0 0
I wonder how many of u pricks have been in south africa :) its ok next time I come to america I'll be sure to bring my treadmill
functional 13
the same women can be raped multiple times. it really is that bad.
TwistedShadow 7
You'll need more then just a taser and some mace if you're going to stay here for a few months
MrLoux 6
I live in South Africa. Yes, it's dangerous here. But tourists are also ridiculously stupid. Add those two together...