Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
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Top comments
samcro3 8
Ghetto gourmet!
HowAreYouToday 34
Quick thinking, OP. Try and use that skill and become a con artist :D
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Comments (160)
samcro3 8
Ghetto gourmet!
boofgall 16
Butter as a meal?
samcro3 8
Never been in jail or homless, have you?
TheBrochure 22
#27 - I hope that #20 hasn't been, and never will have to be!
gribbles 12
27 - don't get me started on that ramen spread LMFAO
samcro3 8
I knew I wasn't alone in the world!
HowAreYouToday 34
Quick thinking, OP. Try and use that skill and become a con artist :D
thesubconscious 9
Make millions of dollars in butter
ALlamaOnFire 20
She could also use the technique where you go around places requesting for free samples. I hear it works quite well..
yahoowizard 16
Step 1. Watch White Collar
SixthSinEnvy 39
You're lucky they didn't ask for a receipt.
JoeGrant 12
Why would they ask for a receipt? It was just garlic butter, and it's usually free...
CoolRainbowdash 15
Did it work?
VannahJane 17
Obviously it worked read the post
lilhellian 27
"I resorted to eating" "To get it" Clear examples it did work..
laurenlovesjb 20
It's tough not having a lot of money:( Hang in there!
chelsearenaeee 16
You get a thumbs down for your stupid picture.
lilhellian 27
Maybe it's just me, but why dv for a pic? Shouldn't it be based on the comment.. Don't get me wrong I dislike him too..
konstantinos616 17
Fairly certain the vast majority of people dislike him.
Mauskau 36
And the name.
morgiepuff 14
14- You get a thumbs down for your stupid comment.
killmoose 5
50- you get thumbs down for insulting his comment
chinchily 12
52. You get thumbed down for making 14 into a "him" when she is a she. P.s. I didn't dv, just felt left out :) up vote everyone! Except Justin Beiber >:/
olpally 33
She's didn't even comment anymore and you guys are bashing her for her jb picture?? Just stop with your hating comments... This is like the 100th time this poor girl has gotten ripped for her profile pic. Get off her case... Jeebuz. Show some class.
emag_eht 18
I agree with 62. I don't like his music or anything, but she wasn't even talking about Justin Beiber. If she likes him then that's her own business. Are you going to bash everyone that has an icon/name of something/someone you don't like?
lilhellian 27
62 There will always be resentment especially on the net. People are going to want to go with the majority (a.k.a. beiber haters here.) It's sad it happens but when beiber fades out someone else will be bashed for liking the next 'Beiber'.. I actually had thought FML had grown up some for awhile there..
SaturnV 25
Although some reasons are arguably more valid (with respect to the original intent for enabling comment voting) than others, everyone is entitled to vote as they please, without having to justify their vote. That being said, I don't believe the quality of this comment is consistent with the number of down votes it is receiving. I personally abhor nearly all facets of popular culture, but that doesn't seem particularly relevant when it comes to judging a comment's value, unless some element of pop culture is explicitly stated in said comment.
chelsearenaeee 16
Actually, I messaged her and apologized. As funny as it is to us maybe, it probably hurt her feelings.
Tay_racer10 3
Yeah you wouldn't know about not having a lot of money your 14 and probably still live with your parents
CharresBarkrey 16
75 - Does bashing a 14 year old girl on the Internet make you feel better about yourself? You really shouldn't be talking when you can't even use proper grammar.
Smashhoof 15
58- You get a thumbs down for-- ugh, never mind, this is stupid.
SillyGirl4602 23
75- she is most likely supported by her parents but you do not know her background. What if her parents are poor? Don't bash a 14 year old and make a rude comment about her when you don't know her at all.
chlorinegreen 27
Way to be the bigger person 71, even though u may of said it to be funny it still may of hurt since she doesn't know you personally
wjh100 13
I really despise you. every fml you're waving your white knight banner let's have fun and not make everything a talk show mmk? @ 97
gracehi 33
Ha ha! Look at all the noobs picking on Lauren, as if Lauren hasn't been commenting on this site for a while now and we haven't already been through all this literally a hundred times. You guys are just making yourselves look foolish. I'm really quite surprised the moderators haven't deleted this whole thread already. They usually do when this happens, it's gotten so old.
gc327072 31
"19 replies? The ****?" *opens thread* Ugh, THIS SHIT again.
Cbizzlez 10
Why didn't you get a pizza out of that deal?
VannahJane 17
Its harder to say they didnt give him a pizza then the didnt give him the garlic butter
RpiesSPIES 27
Her*
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well, you've got some acting talent, OP. Whether you use it for good or evil is your choice
chelsearenaeee 16
I'm broke for a couple weeks too. Them feels
cmbar831 14
Yet you can still afford to use a computer..
chelsearenaeee 16
^yeah, let's think before you type. A vacation in Vegas really drains your money though
whostolemylama 12
Like he knew that prior to him typing his comment. P.S That's what happens when you pay off a Chinese mobster who took your friend, Doug.
WeAreAHurricane 14
Good call 77. I too buy myself a new computer every time I type up a comment on FML.
SWC_Penguin 17
It's ok, we all grew up with Disney's 'Aladdin.' We'll give thievery a pass as long as it's for food.
Imhere4fml 24
"Aladdin told me to do it."
fairydust91 2
You need another solution, don't think this would work for long. A job perhaps ?
lilhellian 27
Just because some has a job doesn't mean they're not broke.. Minimum wage + bills = not alotta money if any left..
missyriss 5
I would assume OP already has a job since they said they are broke after paying bills.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I'm broke even before I pay my bills :/