Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
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Top comments
waffule365 16
at least your friends being helpful?
theWanderer011 11
Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!
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Comments (171)
stargirl_95 24
OP, you will be just fine in South Africa as long as you don't go to the bad areas (don't go to townships at night and don't ever go to Hillbrow or walk around in CBD if you're going to Johannesburg) and as long as you're extra aware and practise common sense.
Okami_kun 1
As a South African This doesn't phase me any more. There are some bad thing that happen here but some of the things I read about regarding the rest of the world i think we might be the most sane people on this earth.
Fuhkyoo 17
i was watching the news once and for some reason they interviewed a dude in south africa, and he said a woman was "prematurely murdered". i wouldnt travel anywhere that you get murdered and they say it happened prematurely
icepick23 12
YDI for being so freaking HOT...
Norvi 26
Look, there is a lot of fear and we do try to scare (warn) tourists. Basically you'll be fine as long as you don't ignore what the locals tell you. For example, don't go walking in an open piece of field. I live here and I don't carry weapons and I toddle around malls by my lonesome. I drive at night.
SeepingSarcasm 7
Stop talking through your arse #133 - If you apply a small bit of logic, and not be stupid by walking around in Jhb late at night, you will be fine. Like anywhere else, during the day everybody there is just on their way to and from work.
SeepingSarcasm 7
Well that reply wasn't suppose to go there...?
SeepingSarcasm 7
#105, no, really....it's not! If it was that bad atleast one of the about 25 females in my extended family would've been raped? Or atleast someone I know direct, don't you think?
KayGee_xoxo 10
My entire family has lived in South Africa since 1935. None of us has ever been raped, robbed or experienced any serious crimes except petty things like our dustbin being stolen. Its either we're very lucky or you're just exaggerating. So all you guys need to chill out
SAgirl 23
Yip sounds about right.
Kuramasan_fml 12
Lol! Hope she has fun taking that through security!