Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
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Top comments
waffule365 16
at least your friends being helpful?
theWanderer011 11
Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!
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Comments (171)
upallnight11 19
That is very smart of her
TheyCallMeDamien 18
It gets real down there. Just be glad your friend didn't buy you the rape trap.
tgbvfr 8
Be thankful - those don't come cheap, but may save your life. Also, be aware of your surroundings at all times, especially the people who seem to be around you frequently.
SuperDanielNL 23
I've been there a month ago, and it's not a bad idea to bring such items. You won't feel very safe. Apart from that it is lovely, enjoy your stay.
laden_swallow09 35
You can stop violence with a well-placed .22 round, though a 10mm would be ideal. You don't need a cannon to save yourself. That'll only be more likely to shatter your wrist, even if you know what you're doing.
kodaskye 5
I'm sorry, but why were you surprised? If I went to ANY other country, or maybe even state, I would bring some kinda of anti rape device. Is common sense.
SuperDanielNL 23
That's a bit paranoid and inconsequent, I mean it's not like rapists respect state borders. It a depends on the country, I'd that in western europe and north america you are safe and sound in most areas. Then again, I am no woman nor a rapist so I am just thinking.
gracehi 33
I think she means to say that in your home state you know your way around and which areas to avoid, but if you go to a state or country you're not familiar with you're a lot more likely to get lost and end up in a dangerous place or situation. The way I see it, though, is that you never know what could happen or where. People are often attacked when they think they're safe. I think it's best to have some form of protection at all times.
styphon 5
What did that poll say recently? Something like 50% of South Africans expect to be victims of armed home invasions?
kay36k 3
Just because you hear a story or two it doesn't make the whole country bad. Yes some towns are bad but others are crime free, it's just completely up to what part of which province you are in! I have never experienced any serious crime and I know very few people who have!
tj5810 21
I have a brother who moved to Africa a year ago. He says its incredibly dangerous over there and can't wait to make it back on U.S. soil. I'd be appreciative of your friends gifts. Best of luck to you!
SeepingSarcasm 7
You can't compare South Africa's crime to the rest of Africa's. Going up more to the North, things get way worse. Only reason the attention is more on SA, is because our crime gets reported more often.
stargirl_95 24
Yes, because looking at the crime levels in one country is always a good indicator of how dangerous the entire continent is
SeepingSarcasm 7
Hey #12, stop believing everything you hear. Rape is really, really bad here, but not that bad. Given your estimates about all of the woman in SA would've been raped in about 5 years.