Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
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Top comments
waffule365 16
at least your friends being helpful?
theWanderer011 11
Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!
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Comments (171)
La_Jaconde 12
Speaking as a South African citizen, there are a lot of things to consider about living here. The crime rate is high but a lot of crimes could be avoided by using logic. Never walk by yourself especially not at night. Be cautious at robots and when getting in or out of your car. Be observant and you should be okay. The pepper spray and the taser are merely precautions. I carry pepper spray everywhere I go but thats because of experiences I have already had. Just because you have it doesn't mean you need to ever use it. That being said, this is one of the most beautiful countries you could ever visit. The people are very friendly once you get to know them. Places like Cape Town and Knysna have some beautiful ocean views and a trip to Robben Island is unforgettable. Go see all the sights you can and you will be fine as long as you are observant.
thundergodx 11
More rape occurs in Africa then all other countries put together... Duh
La_Jaconde 12
#165 *than Please work on your grammar. God I hope you are trolling. Africa is a continent. South Africa is a country. Just because South Africa is part of Africa does not mean it shares all of the statistics. Therefore your statement is irrelevant. OP is not visiting every place in Africa. She is visiting one country. You are also forgetting that while South Africa may have the highest reported rape statistic in the world, there are many women who will not report a rape. Often women don't say anything to anyone because they feel so ashamed. So its actually impossible to say which country has the highest rape statistic as not every rape is reported. The fact that rape in South Africa is being reported is a good thing because it means that the people that do this degrading act, are hunted down and served with criminal charges. If a rape goes unreported, then the person who committed the rape gets off and can rape again. Yes, the rape statistic is very high in SA but it is still a crime that OP can avoid by being observant and careful. By the way, I would love to see your evidence that proves your statement of "more rapes occur in Africa then all other countries put together... Duh". As far as I can tell, you have no legal statistics and are either trolling or just trying to sound smarter than you are.
kabza 13
i live in south africa and to be honest, your friend is helping you..
Iniezian 18
Why was everyone who mentioned what a dangerous place South Africa is thumbed down? WTF people, it's the truth, South Africa is probably the most dangerous country in the world.
lndala 15
No you dumb shit, it's really not. Stop trying to act smart by pretending to know about a place you've probably never even been to.
TcheQ 12
Your friend cares for your welfar, why is that bad? And how did you not know South Africa is a dangerous place for any tourist?
bripoo 8
It is the rape and AIDS capital of the world
alr158 18
Come visit & see for yourself how beautiful & friendly it really is here. Like almost every country in the world, bad things happen, but guns, pit bulls, etc is unfortunately outright exaggeration.
howtobestupid 16
Shoulda bought a .45
icecoldfml 7
lol. I am a Canadian, studying in Johburg for the last six years. and yeah... the taser won't be enough. Trust me. common sense is your best bet. Also strictly follow any rules your friend makes for you :)