Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
bikerdude96 0
HAHAHA
Gingerr 0
French kissing a uterus? That's... quite the long tongue.
beccanator 0
I used the Jergens stuff for a while too, but after a while it does start to rub off and it looks patchy, I decided to embrace my pastyness. You should too.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
I'm Irish/Polish, so I know how you feel. I have wicked pale skin, and I can never seem to get tan (even with help from the sun). So yeah... But spray tans never look real. They always make you look orange unless they somehow manage to not mess it up.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
You were thinking about Smurfs. xD
youdontsay 0
so I'm guessing you're 3ft tall and know how to dance. do u do birthday parties?
SunlightVeins 0
Pale People Unite!
mas19 0
LOL
dollywilson 0
that's the fakest thing i've ever heard
catatonicsleep 17
Being pale is not a curse, you just have to wear higher factor sun cream and apply it properly. If you're supposed to tan you will, if not, just enjoy your natural skin tone.