Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
Chfanfiction 0
No, the sun literally turns your skin into leather. It has NO beneficial effects whatsoever.
mangoid 0
this.
lololol111 0
LMAOO!
easylazy 0
You probably spray painted yourself orange by accident YDI to the max
Phoenix_GAD 0
Chfanfiction: thats not true. sun is good. you need vitamin D too much sun is bad. but you do need sun.
easylazy 0
It depends how much melanin you have, which is the pigment which gives your skin color. It absorbs the sun's rays and gives you a tan. Black people have more melanin, and albinos have none. It is dangerous for an albino to go into the sun because the rays of the sun, specifically the UV light, can cause damages to his body. Albinos are particularly prone because of the lack of melanin. UV rays can penetrate almost anything, unlike X-rays which cannot penetrate bones. Now that's enough science for one day.
CMunk 0
So in conclusion: Tan and black people don't need fake tans. Pale people might. And as with everything; some sun is good, too much is bad.
HELLOASHLEYLYNN 0
actually, it does. doctors say it is good to get some sunlight. also, it turns your skin into leather if you're out ROASTING in it and have long-lasting exposure. stick to the facts my friend.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
he forgot to add (thank you, wikipedia!!)
just_laugh_along 0
At least they weren't singing "Im Dreaming of a WHITE Christmas"
Phoenix_GAD 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*first*, fail. second, i am extremely pale too, so i know how you feel. third, get out into the SUN!!! vitamin D is actually good, despite what people may tell you =/
dinosaursmoo 0
Bahahah that sounds like a crayonnnn :D
causticx 0
That's because it is.
easylazy 0
I believe you are thinking of the classic "macaroni and cheese" crayon
DisappearingRose 18
Unless you're out for too long and you get skin cancer.
dolphinlvr7 24
Geez people, the sun is NOT bad for you. Yes you can get skin cancer but that's for people who bake themselves in it. Go outside and get some fresh air.
kika_fml 0
Haha! That's awesome. Burnt sienna is the new tan. =)
Atreyu_Love 0
Oh, hey I use that :) I'm already naturally tan though :P
xstaticdelta 6
no wonder ur blonde you have abssolutely no idea whats in that but you use it
Laci_Laine 0
Try jergens natural glow! U use it every day until u reach your desired shade so it doesn't get streaky and it's not orange. I'm a german Irish Ginger/blonde so I'm as white as can be and it works great for me. Good luck and stay out of the sun! Don't cave in to the haters. You'll look great long after the sun slaves do!
etubrute 0
Ick, I'm sorry! But there's nothing wrong with being pale. Learn to love it. :)
spoo 24
I LOVE THE OOMPA-LOOMPAS!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
ncochrum 0
What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats? Where are you at getting terribly fat? What do you think will come of that? I don't like the look of that. Oompa Loompa doompadee da If you aren't greedy you will go far You will live in happiness too, Like the Oompa Loompa...doompadee do!
XblahhX 0
Oompa Loompa doopity dossum Dwight is now gone which is totally awesome Why was he gone he was such a nice guy No he was not he was a total douche Doopity doomp
lizzybeth12321 0
hahaha
Sunbolt 0
I've got another puzzel for you oompa loompa doopadee da
kayx28 0
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo I've got another puzzle for you Oompa Loompa doompadah dee If you are wise you'll listen to me next time try stepping outside for awhile smartass
Laci_Laine 0
#2- ever heard of sun spots and wrinkles? Not to mention skin cancer. Vitamin D supplements are safer
leero 0
you must be really short. or have green hair. also, did you wear white pants today?
manoverboard 0
Fake tans are cheesy anyway. Oompa loompa doompady dee...