Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
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Top comments
teqifsha 0
Your fault
Jacobt24 19
You didn't correct her before she started spraying? YDI
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Comments (221)
teqifsha 0
Your fault
yougotapes 7
No joking when tanning. That's some legit thing to do now.
IceeCreamm 7
Great sense if humor.
dylansomething 0
Duh she's gonna take you seriously..
enonymous 9
I wonder if they have a bacon colored bronzer.
BagleHead 6
In the era of Jersey Shore, spray tans are not a joking matter...
Bekeliyr 10
It's her job to fulfill customer's needs. obviously she will take you seriously. YDI
Denikk 0
Wow op you're not so bright, are you?
nixter5 18
It's their job to give you what you ask for! What were you thinking?
dre_bro11 12
Exactly OP. You told her. She listened. What if someone had said the darkest and she didn't take them seriously? She'd probably get told off by her boss and the customer. You deserve this one.
eminemchick 19
you joked to the person who is getting paid to do what you say?
Friaza 29
YDI for getting a fake tan, oompa loompa.
baden18830 5
lol in the era on jersey shore spray tans are even more of a joking matter. those ppl are the definition of trash, and did something I didn't think was possible: they made spray tans EVEN MORE white trash lol. (or whatever shade of orange/brown you are now). love fml's like this, they make me feel much better about being normal
baden18830 5
btw if my comment offends anyone I do apologize, I just love telling dumb people how dumb they are. it's the joy of this site
fakeaccountX 6
Coulda stopped her...
Gfrigo 1
I'm pretty sure spray tans wash off if you use a scrub. OP isnt very bright.
Tobias5505 0
97 I see what you may or may not have intentionally did there
Laurenlou 24
Op, YDI for getting a spray tan! Just go exercise outside if you want to be tan! And skinny. :)
bobsux 5
Well, now she is kinda dark...
princeofgirl 18
#97 of course she's not bright! she has the darkest color they have! (yes I know the joke I made isn't the best)
Jacobt24 19
You didn't correct her before she started spraying? YDI
StoryOfTheYear 15
Gimme the darkest you got........ *pause* *pause* *pause* *pause* Just kidding
humorizer 14
"I want to get the darkest tan. Pause. Not." "No... you're not supposed to say 'pause'. Try it again, but this time don't say pause." "I want to get the darkest tan." "..." "..." "................................................................" "Ok, obviously you're not getti-' "NAAAATTTTT!"
NeatNit 33
56 I have NO idea what you're talking about.
bente123 6
Hahaha borat SO funny
bubblekitty 1
Borat?
humorizer 14
Watch Borat.
princess0830 3
56 Lmfao borat is so funny!!
hellojpg 0
love data
Taylo12237 5
Borat
iEthan 5
Damnn you got burned on that one.
mofran 0
haha i see what you did there.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Spray tan?
superangryandy 2
Das so fanny
Chigagigaroo 0
Haha, what does 'fanny' mean?
touch_the_sky 7
Well I mean you didn't tell her a different shade, what was she supposed to do?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Well the lady doing the spray tan was suppose to read her mind duuuhhh... -_- You deserve it OP
MagmaMan 0
how would he know you're kidding
hesamhesam 0
Lady, bro!
DigitalFusion 4
That's what OP thought but OP was wrong ;)
iAmScrubs 19
Now you can get the job you've always wanted in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. You and Snooki will his best workers.
iAmScrubs 19
I forgot the word Be in my comment. I will forever Be ashamed of myself. How could I Be so ignorant to forget such an important word. I will Be more careful next time.
StoryOfTheYear 15
The potential of your comment... We will never know what it will be Let us mourn
ariannaimelda 7
Change jobs to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Problem solved :D
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Not before dying her hair orange. Tsk ;)
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Oh shit I meant green... it's their skin that's orange isn't it. Those sneaky bastards.........
TheTerenity 9
That would be awesome... But, will there be... Buttsecks?
vettle 6
That's not a joke to them. YDI.
AlbertFish_fml 0
Once you go black you never go back
zinjiitsdanaa 3
Jersey shore?
BIEBERSLAYER 10
She's really dark not really orange.
StopDropNRoll 11
^ like Hershey's special dark chocolate dark?
bdair 1
She culd be the next snooki ;P
thesunsetglow_fml 8
39- when I tan "really dark" I turn an orangey colour... it's perfectly reasonable to assume the same as the OP. The few times I've had to use spray tans they have all looked VERY orange. So yes, dark could = snooki. :)
kings1fan 6
GTL! Ahhhh yehhhhhh
milou_fml 6
Orange you glad you went?
StoryOfTheYear 15
I done what you see there
Garyy_fml 11
If you're gonna be an an annoying dickface, do it correctly. I'm very sure that you meant, "I did what you see there"
regsworld11 2
I'm sure you both meant "I see what you did there"...
jvillan87 5
I done did what was sawn here.
touch_the_sky 7
50 - I'm sure that them saying it wrong was the joke...
Max24KB 0
80- I'm sure that her saying that was a joke
regsworld11 2
80 and 84- It definitely WAS a joke.
cassiewatsits2 5
Wats sharktopous?