Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
staceybby 0
You deserve it, just live with being pale ffs, who really gives a crap?
fmylifedotcomm 0
i'm pale too but i don't feel the need to pay money to get a fake tan that will most likely end up looking super un-natural and yes, probably orange...YDI
jewelzgalore 0
I know of many people who looked MUCH better before they got tans. It isn't necessarily that one is better than the other. It all depends on which person the tan is on.
ohhsnapp 0
hahahahhahah. that would suck.
bibbit 0
I doubt this is true
bibbit 0
Anyone who says being pale is "hot" is just trying to make themself feel better.
Whooitsleah 0
Embrace your paleness! #117, being pale doesn't even matter if the rest you is hot...
blacklite69 0
And the moral to this story is: Learn to love your own ethnicity. YDI.
absentinsanity6 0
EW, fake tans? Even so, this is why you should PROBABLY put a small patch of it on a test area of your skin to see how the color will look first, ya know?
theswarm666x 1
honestly, what CHILDREN would be singing those songs to you? the original is to old for them to know/care about. even if any do you'd be lucky to find one. i am near positive that if any children cared about the movie they'd know of the new one with johnny depp. at that point the songs would have no relevance to your condition.
OMGQueenB 0
YDI for thinking fake tan could ever look good. Tans only ever look decent when they're natural.