Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
whyohwhyohwhy 0
if you must fake tan..... two words...spot test
crazyjack 0
I'd say fake
dan0 0
i'd rather see someone pale instead of that spray crap
mandark 9
try say YD-*******-I out loud. it's awkward. D: you deserve ******* it? @OP. I'm the most pale (palest?) person in my family, I know what it's like to want to be tan like others. But I'm a goddamn secret ginger.
pleasetryagain 0
Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean she didn't deserve it for needing to be trendy.
allmidnighteyes 11
It sounds less awkward than Y-*******-DI =/
PureGold 0
And Anne Hathaway lol. She always seems to be really pale, but it suits her. People usually look best in their natural skin tone...if you change that, you're trying to look like someone you're not.
allmidnighteyes 11
YD-*******-I for fake-baking
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
I don't get this 'tanning' thing. There's still so much racism in the world (even if it's in secrecy) and yet all people want to do is be darker. I'm Brazilian, so I always have a nice tan, though. ;D
rukusrazor 0
You make me hungry for a carrot.
irrelevantxx 0
YDI. you made yourself look like an orange. May I suggest natural tanning?
ExpectationsFail 0
Everywhere you went? Wooow, that's an exaggeration.
mynameisnotjudie 0
bahahahaha. This is why spray tans are never a good idea. Either embrace your paleness, or buy a crap load of sunscreen, and lay outside for the next few months. Just don't get burnt - that's worse for you than being orange ;- )