Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
reebhafbaby 0
what the hell ? it's all about the natural ! LOL but i know how you feeeel , i get lazy and go for the spray ones ... sometimes ...
Weil 0
YDI so much. Pale girls are so much hotter than tan girls, idiot.
DingusLvl5 0
Sum Ting Wong! U r now registered as a Cullen.
anamaia 5
Pssh. Pale people are awesome. Don't deny your true skin color! :P
premiermois 5
Why do I not believe this. Really, kids singing the oompa loompa song? I call shenanigans.
Glam_fml 0
I feel your pain. I too am very pale and cannot tan no matter what. Even if I could, I wouldn't though. Why people want to look like a catchers mitt when they are 40, I'll never understand. Not to mention skin cancer and sun spots. Just ignore all the people saying to go out in the sun - they will look horrible in ten years and us pale people will have nice, smooth, wrinkle free skin. Oh, and I fake tan as well. I use loreal sublime bronze spray. Just follow the directions and you will get a nice "tan". No one can even tell mine is fake. :$
heychelseaa 0
Hahaha, I love that(:
catatonicsleep 17
I love being pale! I'd look so awful with a tan. But, seeing as you want that look... you should have picked a light tan, sort of sunkissed tan rather than a dark tan. Hopefully it will wash off/ fade etc soon.
Roxas_fml 0
Could have been worse. You could sparkle when you go out into the sun.
iKaite 0
Totally agree. Poor girl. And people saying its fake YOU HAVE NO IDEA, what the British kids are like. I got a rock thrown at me once for having a see through t shirt on once. :)
clockworkrainbow 3
Yuck! Tanned skin is just not good looking at all. Im super white, pretty much a ghost. Pale > Tanned
JessieRaye 0
She does NOT deserve it. All these guys saying YDI, being pale is a curse in the summer, let me tell you. And hey, shes from Britain. We dont get good sunshine. So, Original Poster, I feel your pain. And next time, EXFOLIATE. Also, I've never lol'd so much in all my life.