Lava lamp

Pale AF

Today, I went to get a double conch piercing. Afterwards, the lady asked me whether I was feeling well, because I was looking so pale. I had to explain that it's my normal skin tone. I'm just pale as fuck. FML

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

Mirror, mirror

Today I discovered that I'm so pale that I can lighten up any distant dark corner of the room just by placing my hand by a window and reflecting the light like a mirror. Imagine how bright it would be if I stood by the window naked. FML

Soft as snow

Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML

Sunny day

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

Hey lady, not cool!

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist's, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw that I chose fair, she mumbled, "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML