Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
sugarcakebomb 0
YDI this is something that you can't go cheap with. You need to shell out some $$ and do it the right way at a salon. Trust me, I'm in Miami and see this happen ALL OF THE TIME.
JessieRaye 0
Ha, I just read it again, while I drink Irn Bru. YOUR FIZZY, YOUR GINGER, YOUR PHENOMENALLLLL!!! ♪
deweyd8855 3
What are you, a guidette? They must have guidos and guidettes in England, because they are the only people who think that fake tanner looks good.
Avenging_Angel 0
Fake tans are so lame. A little bit of sun doesn't hurt anyone, unless you're one of those redhead albino people who burn after like ten minutes in the sun (damn that sucks) Either go out in the sun, or embrace your paleness. It looks horrible when people who look like they should be pale are tan instead...
SeeAlsoJaime 0
Shouldve just stayed pale. It looks 10x better anyways. Porcelain is the new oompa loompa. And at least you acknowledge that your tan looks like shit, unlike the ***** who walk around with orange skin and think they look like Megab Fox or something.
IllegalLight 0
my bullshit alarm is going off...
iKaite 0
why does she deserve it? It isnt like she wound anyone up just so they would sing Oompa Loompa behind her. Your prob just jealous cos a good FML got posted and not urs. I think its hilarious.
Crickets 0
When will people learn that fake tans like that will make you orange LMAO xD
Logica42 0
"You ******* deserved it" is more awkward than "you deserved ******* it"? Lawl. Edit: Whoa. Mine did the same thing. Wrong comment. D: So sorry.
Crickets 0
word.. Nothing wrong with being pale ;D
justdesserts 0
YDI for using a SPRAY on tan.