Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
sonik42 0
Today, I took my class on a field trip. I told them to stay close so nobody gets lost, they all ran away to go sing "Oompa Loompa" behind a strangers back. They like him more than me. FML
a_boat 0
What happened to FML? First, this completely ugly and unfitting layout, and now every single submission is obviously fake or unfunny. Oh, wait, it was like that for a while now. Going to MLIA.
cj277 0
lolz
heychelseaa 0
Nearly the same thing happened to me, except it was my friends and my mom that called me an oompa loompa! I'm still orange too:/
_itsmeeex1bitchz 0
That doesn't sound real, but whatev's.
Uvula 0
I'd prefer tan because im half black and half spanish, but if your pale why change?
4toestatue 7
Oomba loomba he got a tan, but it was nothing more than a slam. Oomba loomba he deserves that, three or more children run on his back.
bethako 0
yssy?
silly_kate 0
Maybe you shouldn't get a tan! pale skin is awesome! STICK WITH THE PALE!!!
cmac86 24
I'm very pale too, but I wouldn't fake tan. go outside and get some vitamin D and rays.