Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
1nicent1 0
Definitaly fake. Why would kids follow you and sing that but I believe the pale part. Get out in the sun!!!
jddjr 0
fake tans are terrible, you're just following the herd that says only tan people are "in" "hip" or the worst "fashion foward." Ok, if you're fashion foward then where are you going, why does it matter, and what are you doing constructivily, nothing. FYL
thatwasobvious 0
ok am i the only one thinking EVERY SINGLE PERSON to be around her referencing the oompa loompas is a little absurd? also, even if people thought it it seems even MORE unlikely that they would all start singing the song. seriously, fake. really guys. i guess i shouldnt expect more from you, though.
skittleface 0
tanning is stupid. it doesnt make you more attractive. it just makes you more brown.
crazygirl13_fml 0
# 1-5 ass hole shit bitch how is that her fault u son of a bitch clamy nigga
TigressUK 0
At least you won't get cancer YAY
mattmag 0
Easier said than done if you live in the UK like the OP.
kitkatkelly 0
Pale pride!
shakenbake93 0
Oompa Loompas: Oompa Loompa doompadee doo I've got another puzzle for you Oompa Loompa doompadah dee If you are wise you'll listen to me What do you get from a glut of TV? A pain in the neck and an IQ of three Why don't you try simply reading a book? Or could you just not bear to look? You'll get no You'll get no You'll get no You'll get no You'll get no commercials Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah If you're not greedy you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Oompa Loompa doompadee do
EmmeLou 0
Did that seriously happen? EVERYWHERE you've been today? I'd believe it happened once but I think that's a stretch.