Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
funsize003 0
if you're anywhere near or below five feet tall, this is ******* HILARIOUS haha. either way, try getting some sun, sunshine. :)
laughingman 0
white ppl shouldn't fake bake
merri_fml 0
This is obviously fake, but even if it weren't you still deserved it. Look at some of the most famous actresses out there: Cameron Diaz, Nicole Kidman, Liv Tyler, Sandra Bullock, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and Drew Berrymore are all lighter skinned as opposed to fake-tan LiLo or Paris.
fortytwo 0
Holy shit, that was my immediate conclusion as well.
UrRightFML 0
hh lol, maby she is :L
plexico 4
So, you're a midget, too?
lifeislife_fml 0
Why is everyone desperate to get tan? I'd rather be pale.
Boredom_killz_ha 0
I laughed REALLY loud when I read that. bahhaha oompa loompa... smart kids
redbluegreen 41
Hmm. Well, I'd rather be an Oompa Loompa then sunburnt and have kids screaming about a giant lobster... If you're that pale, a decent spray-on tan would probably look fake anyway. You're better off being pale.
fmylifedotcomm 0
sitting outside doesn't give you skin cancer. if you are over-exposed to sun, then you could be at risk for skin cancer. but contrary to popular belief, vitamin d is actually good for you.
PureGold 0
Embrace your natural paleness. It's really not that bad...stop trying to play into this unhealthy obsession people have these days with being "tan". I've seen WAYYY too many orange people walking around lately, it makes me sad :(.
fangsupKELS 0
Everyone who says sit outside for long periods of time-skin cancer much? :p try getting a gradual tan & take it in small incriments. I'm the palest person i've ever met and I'm in the pool for swim practice for two hours each morning.
cattoe7 0
nothing good usually comes from the fake tan products but you could try the sun?