Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
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Top comments
TheDarkoprince 0
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Oompa, Loopma, doom-pa-dee-do
nicolexsmile 0
YDI
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Comments (207)
TheSickness 0
Or. Maybe go outside more. o_0
thatwasobvious 0
nuffin.
voveraite 7
Could anyone enlighten me what is wrong with being pale?
desertkitt 0
I totally agree, fake tans are the product of people who are way too into themselves. I'm naturally tan, but two of my best friends have beautifully pale skin. Ones Irish, one's Norwegian. If you're pale, be proud of it! We've got too many Jennifer Aniston wannabes in this world. At least you didn't go to a booth. Those are HORRIBLE for your skin. I just saw Jennifers last movie, btw. She looked awful! She was way too tan... and she doesn't have boobs.
seancliffy 0
really? she doesn't have boobs. So she should get fake ones? Even though you just said that fake stuff (tans) are a lot worse than the real thing? I like any sized boobs.
TheFunnyzach 3
#183 - I second the boob motion.
medical 0
I'm pale as hell, and don't tan, but by God's given grace get red like a lobster. that out of the way, YDI, fake tans are gross.
FBIWarning 0
completely
sickofnames 0
Actually, I'm the same as her. Some people just have really fair skin that burns easily. I always have to wear a hat or sunscreen in the summer months or else I get burned right away.
ellbtvsvm 0
Um, false. You don't have to be a shut-in to have sensitive skin. I go outside every day, and I burn really easily.
emilysembem 0
I live in southern FLORIDA and I'm able to wear jeans all year round if I want to.
kewlcat 0
i dont think so... some peoples skin just cant tan.. i do , however. i never burn i feel bad for people that do
bladebeast 0
thats not fair everyone says for her to go out in the sun to get tan, i too am very pale however i never tan i only burn so i would've done what she did if it isn't for the fact that i hardly go outside and if i do i always wear a hooded sweater and jeans no matter how hot it is, so stop assuming she is like you and can tan after all there are people who just don't tan, like me and apparently her
amy397123 0
Racist!
regalarius 0
I knew a girl in high school who couldn't tan no matter how much time she spent in the sun, or how long she baked herself in a tanning bed. She had a similar experience with the spray-on stuff. Personally? Paler is better. Tanned people to me look like over-cooked chicken.
Iwannabetreo 11
Njarhahahahahahaha!
aback 5
So slingshot a fistful of M&Ms at the little *******.
leero 0
you probably only burn because your skin is so sensitive to the sun since you keep it hidden all the time. ...where do you live where you can wear jeans and a hoodie year round? you'd get heat stroke if you did that where i live.
Mastermine 0
ur actually pretty lucky, i would love to have my own background music
dannii_x 0
Pale is beautiful. Even though i'm personally tanned.