Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Today, I blared my music while I got ready for a night out. Getting really into this one song, I grabbed onto the nearest thing as a makeshift microphone. It happened to be the hot end of my curling iron. FML
Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML
Today, my reflexes kicked in when I saw a hot glue gun falling. FML
Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML
Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
That's not the hair one usually curls...
ChicKenza 4
Ouch, hope you're okay
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Comments (75)
ChicKenza 4
Ouch, hope you're okay
TheCanucklehead 22
She's fine. Only suffered some burns here and there.
thehumanlyhuman 7
One of my friends just burnt her chin with her curling wand. It was pretty funny looking, the giant red spot it made.
Zimmington 21
Can we just be grateful men don't have those problems?
EternalRest 5
OP is taking the term fire crotch to a new level.
bellebe1998 16
Drop it like its hot
girlbye23 15
Happened to me in fifth grade but with a pencil.
irishjig 5
Snooooooooooooop
Welshite 40
That's not the hair one usually curls...
gc327072 31
"Hi, Billy Mayes here for the Cooch Curler!…"
Enslaved 38
"I found you in my bed, How did you wind up there? You are a mystery, Little black curly hair"
vanessuhm 15
For some reason I read that in Salad Fingers's voice
ChevyRedneck85 13
who enjoys a hairy cooch
\ 28
Salad Fingers! It's been 3 yrs, sniff.
repKyle95 24
"Are you tired of your private area being bland? Are you tired of the exasperated sigh you imagine your lover giving as he goes down on you - if you had a lover? If so, this product is right for you! Get this fantastic product for only $19.95! But wait, there's more! Call now and you'll receive a limited edition pubic hair comb! Now you can give your beaver a look that is unique to you!" -Mustbe18yearsoroldertoorder.Severecoochburnsarepossiblewiththeuseofthisproduct.-
Zimmington 21
28- Yeah, It's usually curly unless she's Asian.
siberianhamster 17
Your nickname seems to contradict the FML.
Bloink 25
I think OP meant after she got burned she can't close her legs
nickn426 14
I thought that too #8.
uoeno_fml 20
Wait, what hair are you trying to curl?
mustabee 5
hahahahahahaah, thats tyt
Bloink 25
I've instinctively tried to catch a glass of wine before, it didn't go so well.
RedPillSucks 33
If you can catch a glass of wine with your thighs, let me give you my number
MissMustard 20
Prepare to make a huge investment in bio-oil!
MeowZebraMeow 7
This is why you shouldn't try to trap rods between your legs. It always leads to trouble.
kathryn14 19
You need ice, a lot of ice.
Enslaved 38
Ice ice baby? (Sorry, some days I'm so vanilla) :P
rememberkids 14
ripped off of Under Pressure by Queen ft David Bowie.
Enslaved 38
Everyone already knows that. And apparently I'm not "allowed" to like this song for A, B and C reasons. (Clones!) I'm not ashamed to admit that my guilty pleasure song list is about a mile long. :P
rach0545 12
You're not supposed to put ice on a burn, you'll get frostbite. -.-
soccer_bball 8
I get the feeling that you use your phone on the toilet a lot...
KushCrushin89 10
Damn you snapchat!
Jazmine453 8
Ouch sorry OP. I recommend applying aloe vera frequently, and of course not using ice.
Bearsmomma 30
coconut oil.