Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
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Top comments
Warlemming 7
Am I the only one who thinks it's adorable that he wanted to protect his mom.
Doortje 30
Ahh, both your men were shooting at you.
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Comments (195)
NJXD 0
he's shot his load over you lol
thejacl 0
you're an idiot
SchiTzenGiglez 0
I think he's funny... tee hee
MakowskiBro 0
so which one squished you first?
maguapoako77 0
I think her son did. :)
NJXD 0
Thanks!
hannah1203 2
^^ lmao, and this is why you don't have sex when kids are around.
MasterE56 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
^^ this is why you don't have kids.
BikeAllDay818 6
hahahahahahahahaha
nimzie 0
lol
Mr_Saikaly 35
I guess it's your child who should post the FML
HahaHillarious1 0
lmfao!!!! hillarious first comment!
DoNotEnter 5
Screamers are retarded.
Doortje 30
Ahh, both your men were shooting at you.
nvrbasik 0
you have sex while your kids home?
Doortje 30
Uh, yeah? So?
SchiTzenGiglez 0
that ***** traumatizing man. Ahh XD repressed memories!!!
UnearthlyEnemy 9
It's like they never learn to LOCK THEIR GODDAMN ******* DOORS. Where's the common sense?!
prince122 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
or hire baby sitter and go to motel
Doortje 30
I really hope you're kidding #127.
GreatGeak 8
75 ftw
meowmeowwkitty 0
ditto. seeing your mother (and some jerk off bf) isn't cool. trust me.
Kua_Mei 0
#75, some people don't have locks on their doors. None of the bedrooms in my house have locks on them and nor do most of the houses I've been to.
taliayungdiva 9
I actually agree with you i walked in on my mom and dad thats something you never insee 0.0
bordom45 4
You also probably shouldn't scream while ur kids home.
nlm92 15
Jesus if you're gonna do it with kids home why the hell would you be screaming, be considerate for your kid, control your impulses
Crimsonhead 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you should be watching your kid, not ******* your boyfriend.
Warlemming 7
Gotta squeeze that in sometime or else she might lose it!
Crimsonhead 0
I think her childs welfare might be a bit more important than getting laid.
insanesna1l 0
yeah but perhaps he was sleeping and woke up. it's not hurting his welfare unless they left the kid watching tv or playing with their meth lab or something
loopyleah 3
Christ there is nothing wrong with having sex If you have a child. the child was most Likely asleep n woke up. things like that happen.
MissFukMyLuck 0
agree 100% I'm a single parent and I'm all for gettin some love but that's why I have babysitter. so momma don't look like a hoe.
MissFukMyLuck 0
I ment to agree with 9. not others who think naw! it's ok! these boyfriends only stick around for a lil bit so I might as well get some when convient! example that applys to a lot of women. we lonely yes but it's not highschool where you can date a new one every once in a while. in my opinion it's not heathy for my child to met the people I date until I get the commitment feel from him. otherwise baby grows up seein mommy has a revolving bedroom door. it's not about us anymore.
Draminicaus 0
*Blink*...What?
carpediemryders 0
if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck.... It's a fuc%*ing duck. if you look like a hoe, walk like a hoe, sound like a hoe, and act like a hoe.... or in your case admit to being a hoe... well then your a hoe
glitter354 0
How does ******* every man she meets make her a garden tool? Ahhh, I know what you were trying to say though and I agree.
HuttonT 3
I see what you're saying 49. Ducks only like dudes that have bread. Hoes only like dudes that have bread. So hoes are ducks. :D
ZeCapn 0
^ win
Woodsy007 0
no 81, we like our men to have meat, not bread.
kofinater 3
bread is a metaphor for money...
bossybella 0
lock doors...
monkeywrench1 10
#49 Totally agreed! Thanks for "typing out loud" what we all were thinking.
cbr600_fml 0
hey 4 so your saying when you have a kid you are not going to have sex.
mrsfunke 0
it's okay to have sex when your child is home under three conditions: your partner is one you're committed to and your child knows well, your child is sleeping, and most importantly you aren't being so loud that he could hear you. otherwise that's just bad parenting plain and simple!
xiShawnx 0
caugh. number 4 could be a virgin.
Cazzybum 11
Why is everyone calling the OP a ho? It says she was having sex with her boyfriend, doesn't say how long they've been together. could be boyfriend of 10 years and father of the child for all you know! But yeah, lock the doors. And. 4 year old doesn't need 24/7 supervision does he?
Cazzybum 11
Why is everyone calling the OP a ho? It says she was having sex with her boyfriend, doesn't say how long they've been together. could be boyfriend of 10 years and father of the child for all you know! But yeah, lock the doors. And. 4 year old doesn't need 24/7 supervision does he?
luraizu 0
#139... you could be a virgin
Warlemming 7
Am I the only one who thinks it's adorable that he wanted to protect his mom.
MrBond007_fml 6
nope you are not alone, that was just very overshadowed by the rest of the story...
TKello 6
I am totally agreeing with you! The whole I was thinking, "AWWW!! That's SO sweet!"
sduhamel 0
#15 TOTALLY AGREE!! such an affable kid!!:)
xxjordan715xx 17
Nope, I did tooo(:
obxgal13 0
same here. I find it so cute and adorable!
blazeamb 3
I agree, home nice to have your child protect you
vballchck 0
I agree!! it might not be the best thing for the kid to see. but he was protecting his mom. that's adorable
Bobissmall 13
Yeah. Damn that bitch for scarring her adorable son for life.
badsportsmanshit 0
I agree 100% I think it is so cute that he tried to protect his mom
pippygoodtwin 0
don't think that a toddler is better at being a son than his mother is at being a parent though
iluvanimegurl 0
lol ikr XD
rpace35 0
I did to but if I were the kid I would've wished really hard that the gun would turn into a .45 so I could've killed myself
Saarr 0
How cute!
maeibum 0
I think its cute.
lindsaylu98 0
nope I think thts adorable
Cdogg4eva 0
He protected mommy buts now scarred 4 life
MrBond007_fml 6
f the kids life, he is scared forever
Froz3narr0w 0
He's way too young to understand what's going on. I think he'll be fine.
zombiekitten87 12
19, that's not true. people remember lots of things from early life, so while this may not mean much to him now, one day he may remember it when it does mean something to him.
gummybear1234 0
i agree with 48
babyyninjas 1
I agree with 69
Froz3narr0w 0
48, that doesn't mean he will be scarred for life.
wrigglezeus 0
you were having sex while the child was home. not so bad but people learn to do it quietly once they have kids
Crimsonhead 0
Exactly! Do it while he's asleep. And do it without screaming.
life_lol 0
but if it's that good how can you not when your a screamer
megislaughing 0
no, parents don't learn to do it quietly. and if you find a set of parents that do, please tell me
ashleyjade12 9
my parents do it quietly.
imtheheppest 0
It's not hard to do it quietly. I'm not a parent, but when your boyfriend's parents are in the other room, with the bedroom door open, you learn to be quiet. Self control, idiots, especially if you don't want to end up scarring your ******* children, sheesh.
bazinga113 0
that's so cute he wanted to protect his mommmy just at a bad time
citybiotch 0
who was watching your four year old while u were doing it??? there is much more thats wrong with this FML than what u THINK is wrong!
TKello 6
He might have been put in bed and for all we know that the OP was getting it on at night-time.
MissFukMyLuck 0
still get a babysitter. I think it's wrong to some extreams
spoo 24
Yes, dont go to extremes. Also while you have a baby sitter, the child may still make a break for it. So you should hire 2-3 security guards to guard the door just incase. Oh, and I agree, this could be a little scary for the kid, so you should have a shrink at hand. Yes, OP should have locked the door, but mistakes are made. Live and learn, its all good. any parent that never made a mistake with a child... well either never spent time near them or never had any.
veritoswty6 14
how can you be having sex with your doors not locked? first of all, if you have kids NEVER leave the doors unlocked! geeeez YDI