Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
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Top comments
RougeRamirez 8
Apparently your mouth
gideeupp 9
Lol not quite Daddy's little angel anymore.
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Comments (218)
Luxord33 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
LOL that's pretty embarrassing!!! :O
addicted2_FML 6
Whoa! Do you think?!
zandalee 20
I feel so sorry for your Dad. Poor bastard!!
draegbomb 5
I want to know if your boyfriend was wearing clothes when he walked downstairs?
MexicanGinger 5
You don't say?
WritingWrongs 8
Embarrassing? That is revolting! What a harlot!
doctorhook86 25
1: More like "em-full-ass-ing". Apparently I suck this morning... but still not as much as the OP.
WritingWrongs 8
Moderate whatever you want, OP is still disgusting.
imavelociraptor 6
That joke was bad, and you should feel bad...
Carli_M 8
Why would you have sex with your dad in the house....
False_Stupidity 42
Clearly she did not know that anyone else was home or she would have considered the possibility of it being someone other than her boyfriend returning.
PinkieKeen 20
There was a hole I didn't fill! Your mouth.
gideeupp 9
Lol not quite Daddy's little angel anymore.
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah far from a little angle. Haha.
tialeanne 19
Acute angle.
hotshot2626 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
holy **** that's an understatement. Like... at least have some self respect to not say it when your parents are around. I hope to god op has no lil brothers or sisters that heard that.
fml121785 14
Wow! I wonder what daddy's response to that was!
Classlfied 4
What what in the butt?
fml121785 14
Mine would have been my foot in his butt, that's what!
LMFAOaMIGIT 3
Today, my daughter became a little *****. FML.
Drigr 9
With a name like cumhole, and her saying "is there a whole you didnt fill" (implying unprotected sex) while still living with her dad, I think its more like daddy's little ****.
TomPusslicker 21
Reminds me of the t-shirt that says 'your little princess, is my little *****'...
GypsyRover 0
Her dad is actually pretty cool. He smiled and gave me the thumbs up.
princessstacy101 0
did he really omg
william8691 10
Dad replies "YOLO"
lazrus_fml 2
2- Ill cover you in cum baby!
LilNigga916 6
103 - you're a creepy ass dude
MDTeddy 13
Stop assuming that you know who the person is without seeing them and just shut up. Also, Op said a slutty comment.
TinyDude 10
Guess he didnt fill ur mouth as a joke OP xD
SteezinDiego 3
Are you Hispanic???
cubefistman 1
RIGHT!(x
tigersfan28 2
Your cute lol :)
brandeeeeee 4
Yeah ain't that the truth
erich2014 0
You live in Arizona.? So do I
john_quintana 1
Hey emily a mi tambien me Gusta hablar, I'd like to talk too you
Daevas 18
Yeah, now she's a Charlie's angel...
Bandz_fml 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Awkies for sure!!!!
dmblonde 13
Is it so hard to type out awkward?
DA14573 6
Is it so hard to pass by something so trivial without criticizing it ?
lukemack 4
Thank you 18 finally someone says something
simonsaysYDI 8
Right back at you 18 ;)
Meettitan 14
Shall we end this before it turns into an infinite loop of hypocrisy?
aj94w 4
Awkward was only one letter more... Oh the humanity!
MormonPornstar 7
Damn, I forgot the President got rid of slang.
RougeRamirez 8
Apparently your mouth
howrudoin 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It did momentarily, then she spat or swallowed XD
benmec 18
Yes!!!!!!! Best comment ever!
siickman 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh em gee !!! Then thumb it 43 (rhyme not intended). Lol they created thumbs just so you could show appreciation to the comment. No need to tell us its the best, we know if it has a bunch of thumbs up.
moneekAneek 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha well put :)
nellienufflenew 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hahaha!!!! Well said!!!!
Drigr 9
Actually 55, I'm fairly certain "they" created thumbs to aid humans in grabbing and holding objects. Using them to show appreciation came much later.
seanc722 2
lol at 55 hypocrisy
siickman 7
Lol 68, i was talking about FML thumbs... You silly troll. :P and i know when i finished my comment i felt the irony and hypocrisy it gave off :x
terrykayez 6
125 - Shut up
imavelociraptor 6
125- "I don't think that word means what you think it means...."
dinorider_fml 4
147- well although you may not agree with his comment, he used hypocrisy correctly
KiddNYC1O 22
68- And eventually satisfaction ;)
ngwPHENOX 4
I was just thinking that haha
TheMaster15 10
Apparently he missed your mouth. Edit^ 4 beat me to it while I was thinking of something clever. Sorry guys!!
Haskins54 4
Fake ass fml
Haskins54 4
Fake ass fml
junkman6 22
Boyfriend "Sir I didn't cum in her I swear she said covered in cum!" Dad " she said filled holes! Only one way to avoid early grand kids" boyfriend cries as dad pulls out pruning shears.
TheMaster15 10
What?
fml121785 14
Dafuq?!? O.o
drewcat21 0
Have you considered therapy?
Harpy20 24
Over-active imagination must be from the lack of sex.
doctorhook86 25
#7 seems to be writing a play, but apparently forgot to find a proofreader.
GigiMcGee 9
Or maybe he has been in this situation before.
sibz24 6
What the hell?
junkman6 22
Similar situation. Her Dad came home early came into the room with pruning shears. Haven't really lived till you've jumped out a second story window into a snow bank butt nekkid jeans and shoes in hand.
Lasagnaa 24
You failed horribly with that.
rachilio 26
I thought that was kinda clever...
B3Y0ND 3
What are my eyes reading.
kittykat1501 31
Make a movie! PLEEEAAAASSSSE?
emchocolat_fml 25
I think you meant "I lay in my bed". LIE - LAY - LAIN means to recline, as you were apparently doing, whereas LAY - LAID - LAID means to put something down, for example to lay your book on the table.
thathipsterchick 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You seem quite the 'daddy's lil girl' YDI :/
Rosicles 8
I'm concerned that you're 11 and commenting on this. But hey, that's just me.
hallett999 2
That's a sticky situation!
klovemachine 24
Yes, yes it is :D
Mister_Triangle 21
Boooo!
cschad91 0
Your comment is bad and you should feel bad!
cschad91 0
Your comment is bad and you should feel bad!
melsaraj 9
My face right now :o :O hahaha great fml