Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I had to hide under my husband silently as he tried to get our 3 year-old son to go play in the living room so we could both finish. Sex is hard when you have kids. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
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Top comments
Amanda Jaworski 23
YDI for saying “pound town”
JokerSmile13 12
Have you ever heard of locking or at least closing the door? I’ve never understood how parents just have sex in the open when they know their kids are home.
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Comments (21)
Amanda Jaworski 23
YDI for saying “pound town”
LostSoul 20
My thoughts. His kid picks up on that stuff.
jkjorn 18
Reminds me of that old commercial tagline: "Like father, like son? Think about it."
raven_of_azarath 35
Anytime I think of a sex-related commercial, I think of the French condom commercial where the like 6 year old kid keeps asking his mom if he can do crazy things (like drive the car or put the cat in the dryer) while she’s screaming “oui oui oui!” while having sex.
JokerSmile13 12
Have you ever heard of locking or at least closing the door? I’ve never understood how parents just have sex in the open when they know their kids are home.
Mac1034 2
says the virgin
Sporadic1 6
yeaaaa it happens sometimes.... we lock our door now for sure after a similar experience
DaBlacky 31
who says the door was not closed? It was surely unlocked, but it could be closed. The kid could have been asleep in his own bed, but three-year old can come out of bed by themselves and can surely open doors by themselves. Maybe their doors haven't any locks at all...
Aphrodite 20
!!!!
AmbrosiaFan 19
LOL omg... don't wig out on him considering you couldn't wait till he was at a friends or being baby sat or something. I have an 8 year old. We figure out how to do it and he's none the wiser.
argon0639 10
I'm sure your husband is thrilled that you guys never ever have sex while your child is even in the house. How moronic! Just lock your door...
Mac1034 2
I feel like you'd have gotten much more sympathy had you not said the phrase "took her to pound town"
Mac1034 2
I feel like you'd have gotten much more sympathy had you not said the phrase "I was takkng her to pound town"
Sporadic1 6
yea my 6 yr old son walked n on us a while back "playing wrestle" or so we told him
Cowgirl1293 26
This is why we live next to my mother in law. We just send the kid next door and we have our "time" together. My mother in law knows what's up and she keeps her grandchild occupied.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Pound Town"? Which one of you is the child here? Also, send the kid to a relative's place/babysitter's place, before working on giving him a sibling.
LadyRen 20
Locks were invented for a reason. Have fun trying to get him to stop.