Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, I had to hide under my husband silently as he tried to get our 3 year-old son to go play in the living room so we could both finish. Sex is hard when you have kids. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
In a couple of decades, there will be a guy running around with a pirate sex fetish and we'll all know why.
KeyKey 2
Oh my god at that age the exact same thing happened to me but they were doing it on the same bed I was on, RIGHT next to me -_____- I woke up, saw my dad on top of my mom and went back to sleep . They didn’t even notice I woke up and saw them .
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
In a couple of decades, there will be a guy running around with a pirate sex fetish and we'll all know why.
KeyKey 2
Oh my god at that age the exact same thing happened to me but they were doing it on the same bed I was on, RIGHT next to me -_____- I woke up, saw my dad on top of my mom and went back to sleep . They didn’t even notice I woke up and saw them .
SirEnigM0nk 22
WTAF??
BurnInDemonFire 39
Keep it in your pants while your kid is in the same freaking room.