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This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
By Seriously? - / Thursday 31 January 2019 21:00 / United States - Minneapolis
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By  RichardPencil  |  27

My guesses are:

1) Flesh-eating bacteria
2) Bradley Cooper
3) Your dad

If I win, you can send my prize to the address listed in my profile. I hope it’s an Instant Pot.

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  PhoenixChick  |  25

Because civilized humans know how to share space. Need perfect silence to sleep and don't want to be disturbed? Sleep in the bedroom, a space that is literally dedicated to that purpose. Want to pass out in a common area that other people use? They might have the temerity to use that space. Because how on earth would they know what the wrathful King Petty Tyrant has decided he wants today? A lot of people accidentally fall asleep on the couch and dont mind or want to be woken up .Communicaing with other humans you live with isn't optional, it's required. Being considerate goes both ways. Just because you are physcially occupying a space does not mean that everyone should psychically know just want you want to happen in that space, then slavishly obey your whims or incur your wrath because you are the lord of the manor whose whims must be anticipated and courted to.

Unless, of course, you don't give a shit about having a good relationship, or any relationship, with your children. In which case sure, go ahead and act like they owe you for the gift of life and should tremble before you. Then steal food from them and hit on their girlfriends whiel you're at it. Might as well really go for the "die alone in a nursing home" olympics.

By  tranced_  |  43

I don't mean to be rude but guess who's been eating the food that your old man had been bringing ever since you were born... You!! in short, time to move out..

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  PhoenixChick  |  25

For not meaning to be rude you really failed badly. OP's dad presumably didn't starve them as a kid, therefore their dad is entitled to steal food from them and their brother? Wow.

A father feeding his children does make him a freaking hero who then deserves everything his children have for the rest of their life. You father a kid? Guess what, you have to feed them, clothe them and raise them. Keep a roof over their head. Get them medical care. It's the law and it's your job. That doesn't make the kid your slave. If they buy food for themselves and their brother, you don't have a right to take it from them. If they get a job and buy anything while living under "your roof" you don't get to take it from them.

If OP is indeed an adult and dad doesnt want them living at home, dad is an adult and can say so or make them pay rent or kick them out. Declaring "my house, so everything you own is mine now because I did you the great favor of not starving you to death when you were 5" is petty bullying.

By  zuckerburg  |  21

YDI. Yes it's his house. But you're an inconsiderate little whiny bitch for turning the TV on when he was on the couch sleeping. When my sister and I grew up, we turned the volume off entirely if we wanted to watch and my dad happened to be asleep in a common area like the lounge. Clearly your manners are not at the "adult" level yet, nor is your consideration for others. Good for him for eating the leftovers you brought back to HIS house. Next time, use your brain (assuming you have one) and be more mindful of others rather than being a brat about it, and then moaning when your dad takes revenge by eating the leftovers

By  corporatecasual  |  3

OP here, had to create an account to comment. Let me just say some of you people are making a lot of assumptions about my dad. 1) I have never lived with him. He divorced my mom before I can even remember. I was there for Christmas and New Years. 2) Throughout most of my childhood his financial situation was too precarious to offer to help support us.
3) I woke my dad up and told him that I wanted to use the tv, and he just rolled back over on the couch. Then he started yelling when the tv came on. 4) My brother and I were sharing a tiny guest room with just a bed to sit on, so we just wanted a more comfortable place to watch our show.