Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML
Today, at the supermarket, I bought a cake and had my friend's name put on it. It wasn't anyone's birthday, I just wanted to feel less ashamed about buying a whole cake for myself. FML
Today, I bought a birthday card, wrote a long message, then sealed the envelope. At the party, I handed it over and immediately noticed the name on the front. I'd bought two cards at the same time and given her the one meant for someone else, my secret crush. I fled as soon as I could. FML
Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they'd actually called up. FML
Today, I spent like $120 on Mother’s Day flowers and a big bundle of balloons for my wife. On the way to the car, the balloons detached from the string and floated away. FML
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
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Top comments
cubfan 4
I bet you...died...of embarrassment
Verst 16
Nobody should know that it was you except you and him, right? Mistakes happen.
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Comments (80)
graceinsheepwear 34
That seems like a weird system, that you can't buy and release a balloon as a general tribute and make a donation unless you know an actual person's name who committed suicide.
jrock9093 18
Feel for you bud, we all have done clerical mistakes! Yours is just to due with death no biggie bud
worldclassrager 41
Well I bet there was someone with that name who took their life...so it's not a huge deal...
breakinlegs 19
someone else could have had your name....unless u have an unusual name
Imaginationn 6
not a big deal but it made me laugh
DmundZ 4
This is a lame fml
EmsyyyRose13 24
Oh my gosh I'm sorry. That must've been embarrassing! Hopefully she understands that it was an honest mistake, and doesn't judge you for it.
Calingaladha 21
Balloon releases are no bueno. They'll just end up harming the environment.
Evgeny2222 11
What a shame.
sayhey22 19
That's a major cause of marine deaths... Balloons
insectman 2
Op probably meant "attention whoring walk".