Today, I was giving my boyfriend head and I thought it would... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By "Molly Strawn" - 26/07/2019 05:45

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head and I thought it would be fun to let him cum in my mouth, but I'd never done that before. I ended up gagging, spitting it back up all over him and myself. While my body was tightening up and convulsing, I let out a loud absolutely massive fart. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 40

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Music Cute Love Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Scary Kids Technology Geek Gamers Neighbours Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Insects Animals Health Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my plan to punish my husband by leaving him for a week completely failed. When I got home from the hotel, he had his buddies over happily watching football, but his face fell when I walked in, like I’d ruined his day by coming home. I don’t think my marriage can be saved at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 1 454

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 782

You deserved it 3 096

The Top

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 088

You deserved it 5 618

Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 617

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 967

You deserved it 2 663

Today, on the train home, two drunk guys decided to sit next to me and make casual conversation. This was fine until one decided to take a drink from his beer. While he did, he sneezed in my face. I still smell like beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 595

You deserved it 2 978

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 121 447

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 718

You deserved it 7 987