Health: Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When...

By Anonymous - 03/07/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML

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vote type 1 43

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TOP COMMENTS

ArtIsResistance7 1

Saturday 3 July 2010 16:06

Ah, it's okay. There are times in life when it's okay to have your face buried deep in a rug. Did you get some experience out of it?

FYL_hardd 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 16:22

Yes, because we all use our teeth to make out.

Comments

PrettyBad 3

Tuesday 1 July 2014 21:48

I could barely tell what was going on, your one pathetic loser

ew1878 7

Saturday 26 July 2014 22:29

How did you not wake up from the fall?!?

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Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

agreeclassic 39 839

vote type 1 3 450

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

agreeclassic 33 948

vote type 1 3 815

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

agreeclassic 10 012

vote type 1 42 726

Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML

agreeclassic 19 020

vote type 1 1 938

Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML

agreeclassic 1 446

vote type 1 172

Today, my little brother got a violin. FML

agreeclassic 1 761

vote type 1 308