By Dog fart - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
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"I feed you Pedigree, that doesn't smell like Pedigree... Is this your way of telling me you've been cheating on me? Is it with that old lady across the street? Is it because that bitch feeds you Blue Buffalo???" Don't worry, OP. I've had dogs cheat on me with the smelly man across the street. One piece of chicken from a smelly man and a dog loves him for life!