Grooming

I tell this to all my victims right before I cut them open.

At least you aren't being compared to Sasquatch.

Kill her.

she loves you for what's on the inside

Hey, nothing is wrong with looking like a serial killer. Its wrong to BE a serial killer.

She must have a fetish for serial killers of she married you!

My husband looks like a turtle when he shaves all of his facial hair off. It is the only thing I am a stickler about. He has to have a mustache, goatee, or beard or any combination of the three but not barefaced. I know looks are not everything but the one time in a year of dating and 8 of marriage he shaved everything off I could not even look at him witha straight face.

you deserve it for getting genes that made you look like a serial killer. obviously your fault.

Your wife sure knows how to choose 'em. By " 'em" I mean razors because probably wasn't working well. Or it could just be the oversized square prescription glasses you've always had... Or... Or maybe it's that tan coat you like to wear so much... Or... Maybe; nah, I bet it's that razor blade.

U prob do

Tell her not to look in any of the twelve freezers in the basement and everything will be cool . . . literally. Also, let her know that Sears is having great deals on freezers and you want to buy another one before your next "business trip." ;)

LMAO, so you had a molestache hmmm?