Love, Embarrassing and Farts: Beach bum

Beach bum

By YouSoSmelly - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Kannapolis

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 160

You deserved it 12 309

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Top comments

helpfulwhale 12

Friday 2 August 2013 17:57

Flatulence is the sincerest form of flattery -Said no one, ever.

Pikawhore 21

Friday 2 August 2013 17:59

You really... *sunglasses* ...BLEW that one. YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!

Comments

superman3212 8

Monday 5 August 2013 9:12

what are u? peter griffin?

WowSuchFail 9

Saturday 8 February 2014 4:26

NAILED IT.

WearyAndWorn 4

Thursday 24 July 2014 19:45

Just say you're comfortable around her already. See where that takes you.

lonerlarry123 12

Friday 2 January 2015 0:43

Better out than in!

Kinglue 17

Monday 7 December 2015 0:25

I mean hey... At least you didn't shit yourself

aruba 7

Thursday 24 March 2022 17:59

Very funny

Keywords

Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Animals Embarrassing Phobias Ecology Health Bikes Transportation Drunk AITA Work Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek Weird Vacation Mysterious Gamers Video games Gross First Dates Smells Parents Technology Annoying

The Top

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 281

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 505

You deserved it 856

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 329

You deserved it 7 545

Today, our baby cries constantly, except for when our grumpy old feral tom cat comes over to lay beside her, lick her head and so on. This bastard cat is the most ornery sumbitch I've ever met and bites worse than a bear trap, yet he's a better dad than I am. Plus, he looks so damn smug while he's doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 230

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 2 021

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 891

You deserved it 5 616

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 538

You deserved it 5 710