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Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Instrument

    Sax appeal

    By blackcarnation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - South Windsor

    Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 398
    You deserved it 3 835
    Share  

    Encourage your kids, damn asshats!

    By The bassist - 17/05/2021 04:01

    Today, months after buying my first bass guitar and taking bass lessons using my own money, I realized that my parents refused to buy me an instrument, claiming that I sucked at it. What actually happened is that they didn't feel like paying for some "teenage bullshit." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 895
    You deserved it 170
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    • 1
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, and over the past six months, after 20+ years of habits aiming at not gaining weight and succeeding in doing so, I've suddenly LOST a lot of weight at 40 years-old due to bad circumstances. No matter how hard I try or how much I eat, my system just seems to have forgotten how to build fat. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 606
    You deserved it 168
    Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 54 293
    You deserved it 6 945
    Today, I opened up my laptop to replace a faulty chip inside, which took me half an hour. When I closed it all up again, I saw the replacement part in its packaging on my desk. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 11 502
    You deserved it 5 838
    Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 199
    You deserved it 5 043
    Today, my wife walked into the bedroom in a vest top, a mini skirt, tights, and fuck-me heels. I thought I was gonna get some for the first time in months, until she came out with the dreaded statement, “I’m off out with the girls, can you stay awake? I might need a ride home later.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 272
    You deserved it 95
    Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 48 402
    You deserved it 4 356
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