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Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

#10903996
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (5598)

On 06/01/2010 at 8:31am - misc - by girlllll (woman) - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (126016)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

#13874228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/17/2010 at 5:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (9171)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (3001)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

#20084656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (34720)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML

#21442412
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (2463)

On 07/16/2015 at 2:56am - money - by JustOutofCollegeAndBroke - United States (California)

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

#17540688
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (4454)

On 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by The captain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML

#20519825
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (12981)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

#21440548
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26659) - you deserved it (1710)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:39pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

#19268166
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26658) - you deserved it (3867)

On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

#13674952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (5159)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm - intimacy - by grimatwork (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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