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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (4653)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (53171)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (238685)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

#496
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (2380)

On 12/11/2008 at 9:30pm - misc - by groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML

#15755743
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (20828)

On 04/12/2011 at 1:45pm - misc - by scottskidee - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML

#20085837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (1218)

On 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

#8089139
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19296) - you deserved it (4192)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by kel - United States (California)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (3219)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19288) - you deserved it (40526)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19287) - you deserved it (4095)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

#19391757
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (1887)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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