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Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (2331)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (3729)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (2419)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

#13802701
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (3916)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (68585)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (8689)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML

#14634779
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (9472)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

#6596310
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (2303)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:35am - money - by anon - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

#13676187
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (5396)

On 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by evilparents (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (9473)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

#19762113
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (2309)

On 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm - work - by jeremyj (man) - United States



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