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Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

#19880160
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (3548)

On 07/02/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by furious at five in the morning (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (3663)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (36672)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19148) - you deserved it (1492)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

#7918887
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (8001)

On 02/05/2010 at 10:19pm - health - by Henry (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (1626)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

#13831440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

#20065697
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (6270)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19141) - you deserved it (121777)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19137) - you deserved it (6611)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (1671)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

#19741419
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (3022)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Singapore - United States (New York)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (2968)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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