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Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14796) - you deserved it (50761)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

#14908981
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14796) - you deserved it (28663)

On 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss came up to my desk to talk about a new project. He came up to my monitor so we can go to a website. My browser had frozen and I couldn't close it. The tabs I had open: Facebook, Gmail, Careerbuilder, Monster, and Resume Samples. FML

#768623
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14794) - you deserved it (60679)

On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - work - by ex-employee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML

#19621126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14794) - you deserved it (1479)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:39am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14792) - you deserved it (35578)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

#20072391
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14791) - you deserved it (886)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

#15162560
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14790) - you deserved it (53822)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14786) - you deserved it (23419)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

#1104
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14783) - you deserved it (1105)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:26am - love - by beekie9 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

#14209539
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14778) - you deserved it (6212)

On 12/15/2010 at 1:15am - animals - by Olive14 -

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14777) - you deserved it (9032)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way, he asked us why we looked so tired. We just said we were tired from moving house. Truth is, our room is right next to theirs. We heard everything. Loud and clear. FML

#6604367
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14775) - you deserved it (1499)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14773) - you deserved it (2759)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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