Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

Today, I got my first tip. It was a Mentos. FML

#6861005
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (5321)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:33am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (12427)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

#17869528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (2277)

On 09/30/2011 at 7:10am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML

#20026361
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (2458)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (3190)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

#7399621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (6706)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by mapleleafs34 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

#13383156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (10142)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm - health - by nikki (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (2212)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (66342)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (2766)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (1436)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

#21432294
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (1733)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: