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Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (109331)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, I was told I need two root canals. This is because my previous dentist did such a bad job on one of my teeth that the decay went through and transferred to its neighbor. FML

#19622172
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20158) - you deserved it (1887)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:55pm - health - by GrinningCynic - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (6121)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

#18526714
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (35756)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

#20005831
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20155) - you deserved it (1345)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by 44magnumtime (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (69403)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

#8198734
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (3478)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by lolographic24 - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (5166)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20149) - you deserved it (2433)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States



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