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Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (3372)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, the rain was pouring really hard outside. I found this out when it started raining on me at 4 am inside my dorm room. Thanks college. FML

#13273746
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by ohcollege - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (19820)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26697) - you deserved it (4607)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26697) - you deserved it (12262)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's other girlfriend. She then informed me that he has a wife, and that they have an open relationship. Thanks for keeping me in the loop, honey. FML

#21474867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (2303)

On 10/01/2015 at 1:56am - love - by areyoukiddingme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (9891)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

#6204379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (6815)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm boring and never go to the bar with him. He knows I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML

#21489448
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (2892)

On 11/07/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

#21368765
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm - work - by phishy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (2631)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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