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Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

#8673018
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (14233)

On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (52338)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (5499)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

#5243719
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (5234)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20672) - you deserved it (3052)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (5178)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (5287)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (9304)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (2553)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (16247)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

#550
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (2187)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:41am - love - by Carla J. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

#14923153
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (11126)

On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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