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Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

#19129849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19636) - you deserved it (2470)

On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (98764)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML

#464994
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (42935)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (1547)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (6375)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (2981)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my friend showed me a creepy piece of artwork he'd drawn. I laughed and said that it would give me nightmares, meaning it as a compliment. Turns out, this one was in honor of his dead grandmother, who'd raised him. FML

#18912127
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (9179)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (7076)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (43725)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19621) - you deserved it (7926)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19621) - you deserved it (3703)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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