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Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22716) - you deserved it (1742)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (2912)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

#19016391
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (2018)

On 02/07/2012 at 4:27am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (2500)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (2994)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (5258)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

#20950083
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (5501)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:00am - intimacy - by xomelodygervais (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (3544)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (1956)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

#21345151
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (1964)

On 01/27/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by morning_glory - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (6684)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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