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Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

by NewDrugs / 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML

by JustOutofCollegeAndBroke / 07/16/2015 at 2:56am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

by Charlie8u347 / 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

by justmyluck / 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm / United States / Health

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

by Anonomous / 01/26/2015 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

by gross / 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm / Australia / Love

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

by amireallyloved / 02/17/2010 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

by smh / 09/10/2015 at 2:09am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed. His reason? A Las Vegas wedding came up on Groupon. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 1:04am / United States / Love

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML

by Caroline / 02/24/2013 at 4:34am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health