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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (1236)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14598) - you deserved it (4057)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

#20072880
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14595) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14594) - you deserved it (118769)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14593) - you deserved it (24705)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

#154795
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14585) - you deserved it (32647)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by tan disaster - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14578) - you deserved it (8610)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14576) - you deserved it (72048)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14571) - you deserved it (26031)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

#467
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/08/2008 at 3:46am - misc - by Heyhey - Sent from mobile version

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14564) - you deserved it (1303)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14560) - you deserved it (2243)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

#9077477
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14552) - you deserved it (6742)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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