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Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23920) - you deserved it (4090)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (38985)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I put in an application to my local market for a job that I desperately needed. I was talking to the manager, he seemed pleased with my application and said he'll call me. As he walks into his private office, I hear the sound of a paper shredder. FML

#6877419
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:45am - work - by TheJuggla17 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (7271)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

#19860530
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (4989)

On 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

#6650801
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (4441)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by sexyyy (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (9231)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (2875)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

#17630283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (1915)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm - work - by chicoallen - United States

Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML

#6671880
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (1820)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by HoHoSnow (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

#19573313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (4329)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my boyfriend woke up to the flash of a camera. It was his mother taking pictures of my shoe print on his window sill and night stand. She said she was collecting evidence proving I snuck in through his window last night. FML

#12321960
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (9117)

On 08/05/2010 at 12:38am - misc - by AmNot (woman) - United States



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