Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (2447)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (2025)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (5238)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (2727)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (2640)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, for the first time in years, I broke down in tears, over a Hallmark commercial. FML

#18157234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (6325)

On 11/04/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (7146)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I fractured a bone in my knee. Now not only do I have to wear a huge knee brace for the next two months, I'll have to sit around in a hotel room all of next week while my family has fun skiing in the mountains. FML

#19378984
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2391)

On 03/30/2012 at 9:43pm - health - by Fractured - United States

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2247)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (6735)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

#16937158
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (8129)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:22pm - animals - by anon - United States (Michigan)

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

#1386673
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (68109)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:54am - love - by mammamia (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (15222)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: