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Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

#19372979
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (1823)

On 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by rusrs - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (3862)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

#20050418
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (2034)

On 08/31/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by thatgirl17 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (4437)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (80041)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (3009)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

#6437512
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (5009)

On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

#13234254
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (2040)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:03am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (3451)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (3156)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (2038)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

#19890540
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (1681)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (4826)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)



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