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Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (40797)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19698) - you deserved it (47085)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (2286)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (16341)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

#13108998
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (12712)

On 09/19/2010 at 2:21am - animals - by jillydark6609 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (2336)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (2436)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (7353)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19679) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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