Health, Gross and Farts: Growing old sucks

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 00:00

Today, I've gotten to that point in life where I can no longer seem to trust a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 141

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Same thing different taste

S❤️ed

By andinpublictoo - 29/10/2021 22:59

Today, and for the first time in my life, I was unable to trust a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 224

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 196

By it's sharty time :/ - 02/07/2016 18:45 - United States - Bismarck

Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 503

You deserved it 1 766

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 745

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 563

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 996

By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 196

You deserved it 18 107

Growing old gracefully

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 18:25 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 724

You deserved it 634

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 20:00

Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 430

She's lost control again

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 13:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 177

Hangryko 29

Friday 7 April 2023 2:08

I have to be careful these days, too. My advice to everyone 30+: Don't trust the fart.

Charlie Given 26

Friday 7 April 2023 15:08

Yuppers just assume it's a shart 🤣

Comments

Hangryko 29

Friday 7 April 2023 2:08

I have to be careful these days, too. My advice to everyone 30+: Don't trust the fart.

Charlie Given 26

Friday 7 April 2023 15:08

Yuppers just assume it's a shart 🤣

RichardPencil 30

Friday 7 April 2023 18:35

What age would that be? One should never trust a fart from conception.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Saturday 8 April 2023 1:44

When does one ever trust a fart? Mr. Hankey perhaps, but not a fart.

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The Top

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 92

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, I received an email saying, "Thinking of you and hoping you are taking care." It was from the love of my life. We broke up 20 years ago. Previously, we had contact every 5+ years. It's just too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 125

Today, I was fired from my job over a coupon a coworker offered me for bonus reward points. Apparently, it wasn't one I was entitled to. I never even looked at the coupon and assumed it was fine since they offered it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 167

You deserved it 496

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 716

You deserved it 4 785

Today, I'm studying in another city. My tutor hates me because of my looks and accent. I have no friends, computer or internet outside of uni. I live in a room I rent at an old couple's house. Due to a flimsy door, I hear everything they do or say, and vice versa. I can't move from the bed. If I do, their dog, who guards my door, starts barking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 233

You deserved it 195

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 826

You deserved it 4 027

Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 292