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Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (4826)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (3156)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (3451)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (2038)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

#19890540
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20999) - you deserved it (1681)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

#6018223
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (7815)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:45am - kids - by Chub (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (1755)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (58188)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20996) - you deserved it (9839)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20994) - you deserved it (2709)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (2964)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (6717)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (6644)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version



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