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Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML

#6293770
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19956) - you deserved it (2752)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

#9047626
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (8933)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

#18247729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19949) - you deserved it (2348)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:53pm - work - by unhappyelf - United States

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

#18199894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (3173)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:57am - misc - by LukeyBoy - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 the workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

#19626293
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (1631)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

#18983389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (22038)

On 02/03/2012 at 10:49am - kids - by AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (54294)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (4115)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

#18473570
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19945) - you deserved it (7876)

On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

#18972343
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (8762)

On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19944) - you deserved it (43737)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (1773)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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