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Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

#6300259
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (6475)

On 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by SpeakerPhone (woman) - France (Alsace)

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (5444)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (3718)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for the first time in years, I broke down in tears, over a Hallmark commercial. FML

#18157234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (6097)

On 11/04/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (3048)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

#16820204
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (42647)

On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (2123)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (38949)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my annoying and disrespectful roommate discovered Pandora. She also discovered that she can play Christmas music on Pandora. Only 23 more days until Christmas. FML

#14065722
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (3740)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

#7674410
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21630) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/29/2010 at 1:59pm - misc - by Dana (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

#18449998
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21629) - you deserved it (9201)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21628) - you deserved it (55420)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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