Today, I helped two people find the central station on my way home. As a thank you, they mugged me and stole my wallet and iPod Touch. FML

By americanized - / Monday 22 November 2010 15:25 / Denmark

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 4 December 2010 06:50 / Singapore

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

By A.W - / Sunday 24 June 2012 13:57 / United States

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

By areyouserious - / Monday 17 November 2014 03:46 / United States - Fresno
By Anonymous - / Wednesday 19 January 2011 03:08 / Singapore

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

By unloved - / Monday 18 January 2010 05:06 / United Kingdom

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

By Anonymous / Friday 21 November 2014 00:43 / United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

By misTreated - / Sunday 30 May 2010 04:01 / United States
By Anonymous - / Friday 27 November 2009 16:43 / United States
By Anonymous - / Thursday 29 January 2015 00:59 / United States - Ocean Springs
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