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Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (48738)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (1892)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

#1414687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (43457)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:50am - love - by Mikey (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (2081)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

#14305134
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (7478)

On 12/23/2010 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (4274)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (2723)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

#15029210
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24285) - you deserved it (5115)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Socarates - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

#20084656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (1521)

On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (7125)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

#16995369
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (16935)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by thoughtcrimeno1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (4290)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

#6773256
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (3867)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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