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Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19172) - you deserved it (4254)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19169) - you deserved it (44431)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother had 'the talk' with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

#5784290
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (1787)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19162) - you deserved it (2522)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19160) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. After I left his house, I realized that my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket and onto his couch, where I had forgotten it. FML

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19160) - you deserved it (6814)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

#20090653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (1378)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

#2101
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by noodle - United States (California)

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

#20031862
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (1337)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

#16645902
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19155) - you deserved it (25733)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm - money - by fuckcops (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

#19979543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19154) - you deserved it (7120)

On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML



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