Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (59934)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (2248)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (1531)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18814) - you deserved it (54405)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18814) - you deserved it (2295)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

#20186264
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:35am - work - by CheddarJack89 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

#8199501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (5523)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by bcca - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (2484)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

#20399692
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (1996)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (6204)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (1445)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: