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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (5302)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (11687)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (2990)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (3322)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

#19334312
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (2924)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:10pm - health - by Zak (man) - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML

#13665915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (4730)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (6324)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

#640480
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (87399)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (7315)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (32471)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (5547)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

#17958269
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/11/2011 at 5:43am - work - by Anony-moose (woman) - United States



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