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Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (1519)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (1981)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

#6643821
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (6178)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by proudparent (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (9059)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (6073)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (76049)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (1664)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (8582)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (7680)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

#6865910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (3431)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (1956)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (1758)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (101574)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore



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