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Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (10213)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (5548)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

#19741158
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18675) - you deserved it (11030)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:21pm - work - by Mark - United States

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18668) - you deserved it (38798)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

#134877
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18665) - you deserved it (30648)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18663) - you deserved it (24921)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought a new purple shirt and decided to wear it to this charity function I was going to. I thought I looked pretty good in it. Then I got home and realized I left the sticker on. I had an "XL" sticker on my boob all night. FML

#865934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18661) - you deserved it (42765)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by jessica238 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18659) - you deserved it (2042)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18655) - you deserved it (58157)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

#19811531
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/19/2012 at 5:59am - misc - by Stu (man) - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

#14186958
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by yermom (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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