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Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6497) - you deserved it (11941)
On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6496) - you deserved it (79648)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6495) - you deserved it (60803)
On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6496) - you deserved it (19432)
On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6492) - you deserved it (28370)
On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6490) - you deserved it (34574)
Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6486) - you deserved it (12195)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6482) - you deserved it (45204)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)
Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6480) - you deserved it (27429)
On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6466) - you deserved it (42942)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (78938)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (22303)
On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (19955)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Monday 17 June 2013
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