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Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21747) - you deserved it (38941)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (8117)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (1753)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (4378)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21740) - you deserved it (4197)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (2292)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (1641)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (2065)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (6390)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (57916)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

#19890134
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (5051)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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