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Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

#19566407
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19282) - you deserved it (2154)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (6685)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (2350)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (3228)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the following two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

#19901144
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (6543)

On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

#18934570
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (5995)

On 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

#8719184
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19270) - you deserved it (2778)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by AtikaSucks (woman) - Tunisia

Today, I was called up about a job I'd recently applied for. I was overly excited to tell them I'd be there on Monday. Then I remembered I canceled my car insurance due to financial difficulties. I have no way of getting there. FML

#13446439
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (7579)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:02pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (3355)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19267) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19266) - you deserved it (2748)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

#5886386
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (15226)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:38pm - work - by moduschic (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (6828)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)



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