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Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my friend showed me a creepy piece of artwork he'd drawn. I laughed and said that it would give me nightmares, meaning it as a compliment. Turns out, this one was in honor of his dead grandmother, who'd raised him. FML

#18912127
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (9179)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19624) - you deserved it (3703)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (7926)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (7076)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (43727)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19616) - you deserved it (6025)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19616) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

#20084489
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19613) - you deserved it (2028)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:03am - health - by Nyquilwtf - United States

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (9034)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (1948)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (3723)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)



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