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Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

by LockedOut / 11/02/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Love

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML

by JustOutofCollegeAndBroke / 07/16/2015 at 2:56am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

by Crappit / 10/06/2009 at 9:53am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 02/14/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

by anonymous / 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Love

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

by Closingwild / 07/21/2012 at 2:18am / Mexico (Jalisco) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

by chrono64 / 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

by fail / 12/05/2010 at 1:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

by datingamoron / 02/14/2011 at 2:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, so 'there could be someone to answer the phone'. The phone didn't ring once all day. FML

by letmeinplease / 03/21/2011 at 9:03pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML

by awwman / 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Washington) / Health