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Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14562) - you deserved it (1303)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14555) - you deserved it (2242)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

#9077477
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14549) - you deserved it (6742)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14545) - you deserved it (1809)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14542) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14541) - you deserved it (22135)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you deserved it (1219)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

#19880160
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14528) - you deserved it (2583)

On 07/02/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by furious at five in the morning (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tore up my airborne academy admission documents because my lab results weren't good enough. A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me. They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission. FML

#16263514
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14524) - you deserved it (35712)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46am - work - by SkyDiver -

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14521) - you deserved it (35087)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

#2724554
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14518) - you deserved it (41990)

On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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