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Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

by fail / 12/05/2010 at 1:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML

by JustOutofCollegeAndBroke / 07/16/2015 at 2:56am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

by mapleleafs34 / 01/17/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the drugstore to get supplies for my broken toe. Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day. At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, and ended up stepping on the toes of my good foot. FML

by ouchie / 01/02/2010 at 12:26am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

by Jess49 / 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

by Anon / 12/13/2009 at 2:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 02/14/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Love

Today, I was studying on a bench outside my dorm when the leg snapped. I decided to do the right thing and let administration know what happened. After assuring me it wasn't my fault, and having me fill out an incident report, they billed me $400. I can't enroll for next semester until I pay. FML

by smoothies14 / 11/06/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

by dripdripdrop / 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

by datingamoron / 02/14/2011 at 2:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous