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Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

#20054257
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (1462)

On 09/02/2012 at 3:41pm - work - by zoosmell pooplord - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
151 comments

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (2671)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (1841)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

#14600625
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by ovawerkrd - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (3189)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

#13957675
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (3040)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (50266)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (3031)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (49160)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (2445)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (2959)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)



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