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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (7874)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

#19195246
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (3764)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (3831)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

#20050418
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (2178)

On 08/31/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by thatgirl17 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (12635)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

#6005073
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22606) - you deserved it (30313)

On 10/26/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (9726)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

#18550542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (7796)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Doy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (1913)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

#121719
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (53102)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Byron fiddles (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (1507)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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