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Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (29076)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (1818)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

#748
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (1668)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by bex - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (1682)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (5078)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (7509)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (7218)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (3381)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

#20061769
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (1561)

On 09/07/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

#6546793
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (14860)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:05am - health - by ihatecats - United States

Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

#13788203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States



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