Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (1753)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20994) - you deserved it (2708)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20996) - you deserved it (9782)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

#6018223
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (7815)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:45am - kids - by Chub (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (6716)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (6644)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (2964)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
123 comments

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (9034)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (1553)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (1932)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20975) - you deserved it (11366)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (5131)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: