Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (1703)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (45044)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20124) - you deserved it (42686)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (1921)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (45823)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

#14395971
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (6846)

On 12/30/2010 at 1:21pm - misc - by glam300 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (2446)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (38352)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

#14574802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by wrongnumber (woman) - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

#17506977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (3771)

On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (51734)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (27207)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (4098)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: