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Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (1956)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (2772)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

#6865910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (1758)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (5919) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (5076)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (4795)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23088) - you deserved it (101586)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23083) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

#19330413
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23082) - you deserved it (2244)

On 03/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by badadvise (man) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23082) - you deserved it (4445)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)



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