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Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (3718)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

#6300259
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (6476)

On 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by SpeakerPhone (woman) - France (Alsace)

Today, for the first time in years, I broke down in tears, over a Hallmark commercial. FML

#18157234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (6096)

On 11/04/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (38947)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (3048)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (2123)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (55423)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my annoying and disrespectful roommate discovered Pandora. She also discovered that she can play Christmas music on Pandora. Only 23 more days until Christmas. FML

#14065722
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (3740)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

#16820204
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (42650)

On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (61613)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

#7674410
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/29/2010 at 1:59pm - misc - by Dana (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

#18449998
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21629) - you deserved it (9200)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)



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