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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (2953)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

#19858168
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (2271)

On 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

#20033836
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (1709)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (7557)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (17911)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

#376
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (3769)

On 11/23/2008 at 5:59am - misc - by rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (3630)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML

#13777972
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24962) - you deserved it (2519)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by nameless - United Kingdom

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24962) - you deserved it (9683)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got home to find my entire video game collection and all my consoles had been stolen. Two weeks ago I brought them back from my University accommodation, specifically to stop them from being stolen while I was at home for the Christmas holiday. FML

#7109845
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (2358)

On 01/02/2010 at 7:35pm - misc - by greatstartto2010 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

#13508012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (8245)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (38376)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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