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Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (5340)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18513) - you deserved it (89224)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

#11906376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18511) - you deserved it (23409)

On 07/15/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by darthinvader (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (6717)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18505) - you deserved it (3053)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5-year old for a few seconds. The guy that had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

#253814
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (42054)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:45pm - work - by ADH2000 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (1905)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

#20042959
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (2171)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (7024)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

#8740298
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (3474)

On 03/01/2010 at 1:43am - love - by duckwater (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18496) - you deserved it (1943)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

#365
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18495) - you deserved it (1755)

On 11/22/2008 at 6:51am - misc - by Sugar - United Kingdom



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