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Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (2020)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got back from a three week trip in the Alaska back-country. I survived climbing fatally steep mountains, white water rafting in a freezing glacier river, and a near bear attack. Despite all that, a badly thrown frisbee managed to split my eyebrow in half. FML

#13105771
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (3908)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by Gabby125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (5754)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

#14483355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (2196)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:21am - work - by sick (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

#13492524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (2880)

On 10/17/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by kitty (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (19958)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

#14057053
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23333) - you deserved it (3887)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by e (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (2097)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (1467)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (2472)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

#17757780
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (8752)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

#21411522
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (5620)

On 05/17/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by norpedo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML



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