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Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14519) - you deserved it (1440)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14516) - you deserved it (3551)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (43073)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14507) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

#20058701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14506) - you deserved it (912)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14504) - you deserved it (28986)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14504) - you deserved it (18909)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

#1607608
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (39516)

On 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by Gjkashldf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (29778)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML

#18286852
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14501) - you deserved it (23230)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14498) - you deserved it (70611)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

#20087914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14494) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by badluckryan - United States (Massachusetts)



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