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Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

#1471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18607) - you deserved it (1955)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm - kids - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (3088)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18601) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18599) - you deserved it (1741)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

#578
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (1721)

On 12/23/2008 at 2:43am - misc - by Plume - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18597) - you deserved it (3968)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18594) - you deserved it (3923)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18593) - you deserved it (6991)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (9925)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML

#19636428
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (4506)

On 05/17/2012 at 10:37am - health - by Username (man) - Australia

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18588) - you deserved it (16218)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18586) - you deserved it (6054)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version



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