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Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (1460)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

#17743700
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (11163)

On 09/14/2011 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (2234)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (6549)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

#20014690
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (4735)

On 08/11/2012 at 2:21am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (2846)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (2250)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (4114)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

#8507226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by emih (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (3420)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

#19370577
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20923) - you deserved it (3502)

On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

#19426271
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (3286)

On 04/07/2012 at 10:10pm - misc - by Millian2 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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