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Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (2730)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (3212)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (4292)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

#14281367
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (6189)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (2360)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22108) - you deserved it (2741)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22104) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (49510)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22101) - you deserved it (4926)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

#8118993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (4466)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

#13660294
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (2764)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (2154)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (13196)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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