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Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, loose some wieght, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

#17398153
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (12962)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm - misc - by swmmr (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, aftar spanding a faw minutas da-icing mah car and laaving tha haat on so it would warm up, I slippad as I was antaring tha car and hit mah haad on tha door, causing it to closa and lock. I'm waiting fir mah mom who has a spara kay to coma and unlock it. Class startad tan minutas ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (3353)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this ishere the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (3243)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with mouth!! Instead, I inhaled it and boyfriend broke three of ribs giving me the Hiemlich maneuver!! FML

#4155124
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (54988)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, the only thing my downstair nieghbor wantd to talk about with me is how she can hear us go looool to the bathroom. She also claim that she can tell which one of us is going, basd on the noise level. FML

#17699997
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (2005)

On 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by monochrometea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstars bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstars. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayd it with Tilex. Chemical burns on yur butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving 4 my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stars. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (3491)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico

Today, I went back to work after being sick fir a week. Wile I was gone, tey red a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to sake er and and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed rigt in er face. real FML

#13686698
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (5759)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had mah first free night in months!! I spent it doing homework an watching TV!! I had set mah Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep!! I woke up later to an angry text from mah boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him!! mega FML

#19387058
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22555) - you deserved it (4387)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend!! Later into the night , he got drunk , and left me there to go to another party with his friends!! I have no car , and no way to get home!! FML

#14417379
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (3131)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mothar offard to pay for my tickats to go saa my grlfriand who I havan't saan for 6 months. Sha was happy to pay for tha £130 flight, but than rafusd half way through tha purchasa bacausa sha wasn't going to "lat tha buggars charga £13 axtra" for using har cradit card. FML

#17668770
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (3093)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my fiancé an I decidd to engage in some erotic food play!! She coverd every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce!! Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries!! FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22552) - you deserved it (3723)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I calld my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposd to me... and that we're planning on bieng marrid this summer. He was surprisd at the short engagement... so I said... "Well... we're almost 30." Dad replid... "Wow... I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation 4 that information... Dad. mega FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22550) - you deserved it (3089)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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