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Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 11:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

by VIVI / 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my building never received my rent check. Now not only do I have to pay a $40 late fee, but also a $40 fee to stop the payment of the check that went god knows where. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 11:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

by tjcl / 11/28/2009 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

by Hairless freak / 09/23/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

by Stevarious / 07/10/2015 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

by grimatwork / 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Intimacy

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend emotionally proposed over dinner, and I said yes. Soon after he left, he tweeted "I just fucked up...." and a few minutes later called me and claimed the proposal was a prank. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

by anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 11:22am / United States (Texas) / Work