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Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (2346)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (60810)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (3477)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19313) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (7699)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

#18761423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (1996)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (3925)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (5040)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (46916)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

#19528720
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (2211)

On 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by horselover7766 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (4653)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)



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