Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML

#20043150
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (12037)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by unfucked (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

#19914260
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (6494)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:44am - misc - by seagull hater - United States (California)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19783) - you deserved it (67837)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

#19743294
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (1859)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19777) - you deserved it (4496)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (1612)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

#6710646
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (7466)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (3898)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbors got a motion sensor light that points at my window. It's so sensitive that it goes off every time an insect flies past. FML

#19601111
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (1527)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (6104)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (5673)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (4892)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: