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Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (5199)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

#630
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (1887)

On 12/30/2008 at 4:35am - work - by Cody - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (53698)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (1510)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (3067)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (7026)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (1707)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

#21394245
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (1696)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Devildrake (man) - Australia

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (43366)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22934) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (7038)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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