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Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

#8118993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (4724)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24349) - you deserved it (3416)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24347) - you deserved it (7378)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (3086)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (2939)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (3708)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (3269)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

#7039639
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (3873)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:42pm - kids - by doody (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (1529)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (3132)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (8163)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

#21100070
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (53219)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:27am - misc - by Cult (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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