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Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (4098)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

#19243809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (2375)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:48am - work - by Katie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

#7211285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20098) - you deserved it (5367)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by iamshrimpy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (51202)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

#713
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (1957)

On 01/05/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by sel2207 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (11540)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (3560)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (1714)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

#19890540
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (1606)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML

#362
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20092) - you deserved it (4801)

On 11/22/2008 at 2:02am - misc - by Goatkvlt - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

#8781188
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20092) - you deserved it (3480)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:03pm - health - by sunny_ca559 - United States

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (3390)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

#572
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (8921)

On 12/22/2008 at 6:54am - love - by noname - Sent from mobile version



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