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Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

#17812244
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (5534)

On 09/23/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by hatty - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (4235)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (7772)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (16863)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (4257)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

#18030465
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (4458)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:32am - love - by Miroslav208 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

#1047
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (1490)

On 01/13/2009 at 3:54pm - love - by ren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (1557)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (3246)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23254) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23255) - you deserved it (5477)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (3049)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)



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