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Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (3989)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

#19858168
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (2088)

On 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

#6622206
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm - work - by bleeding (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (10572)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

#21298539
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (6679)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by Jakeok (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (1928)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the drugstore to get supplies for my broken toe. Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day. At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, and ended up stepping on the toes of my good foot. FML

#7094930
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:26am - health - by ouchie (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (6940)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (1542)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

#6965324
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (10609)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (9486)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

#7364285
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (5955)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bali_Boil (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

#6916745
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (2045)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by LonelySanta (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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