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Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17290) - you deserved it (38474)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

#559
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17289) - you deserved it (1864)

On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (1182)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (44864)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

#7325738
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17282) - you deserved it (2560)

On 01/13/2010 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by cantgetitupcantgetiton (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (2517)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13097397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (24761)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

#7351489
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (7135)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (7099)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

#20084083
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17278) - you deserved it (6761)

On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17278) - you deserved it (2094)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17277) - you deserved it (9063)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (4604)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)



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