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Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19162) - you deserved it (44415)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (1984)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

#7232950
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (5150)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (8512)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

#6465466
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19159) - you deserved it (25146)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by garlicbread (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

#20006832
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (6235)

On 08/07/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by Marcowalker95 - United States (California)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19157) - you deserved it (7391)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (3585)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you deserved it (3906)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (2380)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (4687)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother had 'the talk' with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

#5784290
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19146) - you deserved it (1785)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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