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Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

#258
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (12242)

On 11/09/2008 at 4:18am - health - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (2529)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22534) - you deserved it (2616)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

#20158967
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (5594)

On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

#17699997
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (2005)

On 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by monochrometea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22534) - you deserved it (4385)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

#6118877
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (4674)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by feelthelove - United States

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (3130)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (1907)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22525) - you deserved it (3490)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (1585)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

#19374256
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22521) - you deserved it (3037)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:37am - misc - by rozziepop - United States (California)



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