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Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (4865)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

#19714099
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (6324)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:41am - health - by sicksicksick (woman) - Senegal

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

#19522593
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (1786)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:15pm - work - by Mug - United Kingdom

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

#14165047
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (5496)

On 12/11/2010 at 11:16am - kids - by blueberry_hill (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

#17107286
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (3655)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by failure (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23656) - you deserved it (69877)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

#14878575
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (5802)

On 02/07/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by oxbonxo (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23656) - you deserved it (4778)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

#20125611
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/20/2012 at 6:48pm - money - by fuck gangnam style in the anus - United States (California)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (1398)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

#13077269
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (10397)

On 09/16/2010 at 7:27pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (32955)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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