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Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (1743)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (3661)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (2394)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

#20061527
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (1992)

On 09/07/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by poopexperttt - United States

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (42048)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (59933)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (2847)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (49379)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

#8507226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (2670)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by emih (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while parallel parked, a car stopped next to me, backed up, and hit the woman behind him. When she pulled off to the side to check for damage, she slammed into me. FML

#14543441
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (1620)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by raiyne -

Today, I frantically chased a customer down the parking lot, because they had left their package at my register. Only to find out that the whole time I was chasing the wrong person. FML

#17678735
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (3961)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:32am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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