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Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (5307)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex told me he broke up with me because he loved me, and that he was afraid of the commitment. He's living with his new girlfriend now. FML

#1354
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (1439)

On 01/16/2009 at 9:58am - love - by Down - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

#18812906
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (6115)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (11116)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (1874)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (8716)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (34368)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20326) - you deserved it (6399)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20326) - you deserved it (2347)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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