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Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (8154)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (3274) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (3976)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (3226)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (4955)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (2624)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22858) - you deserved it (4220)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

#19276070
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (14991)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (3019)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (15676)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (3041)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22854) - you deserved it (63950)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

#18369029
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22853) - you deserved it (2365)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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