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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23082) - you deserved it (8580)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (101566)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (76033)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

#6865910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (3429)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (1755)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (1662)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (1956)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (5919) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (5075)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23075) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (9059)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

#19480957
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23075) - you deserved it (6705)

On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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