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Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

#20022416
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20285) - you deserved it (1366)

On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML

#17701196
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (11971)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Krystyn Gareau - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20279) - you deserved it (2355)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20279) - you deserved it (3383)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

#19800781
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20280) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/17/2012 at 8:34am - health - by Shenza - United States (New York)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20277) - you deserved it (32146)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (2801)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (3319)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (8131)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (7394)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (38665)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)



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