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Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (3110)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

#1517
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (15353)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

#17812244
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (5818)

On 09/23/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by hatty - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (7076)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

#14286772
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (10861)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (122145)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

#21363177
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (12301)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

#19454925
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (13252)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (1701)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (2101)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML

#19111360
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (11036)

On 02/18/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by snowinggrey - United States



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