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Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (1527)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

#6287629
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22495) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (6707)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22495) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

#13675259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (10014)

On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

#13632865
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (7244)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:17pm - misc - by mommysgirlapparently (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

#19099040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22495) - you deserved it (5204)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:43am - kids - by thatoneperson - United States (Virginia)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (62912)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

#19700381
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (4233)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (1561)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (52306)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (6017)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22483) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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