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Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (16027)
On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (35786)
On 06/25/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (72762)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (26482)
On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (20462)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6113) - you deserved it (18007)
On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (24529)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (23916)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:25pm - work - by faulty number - United States (Florida)
Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6109) - you deserved it (15924)
On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6108) - you deserved it (59209)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6108) - you deserved it (33756)
On 06/13/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by knoppad (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6108) - you deserved it (19472)
On 12/16/2011 at 1:31am - health - by Username (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6106) - you deserved it (24225)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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