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Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (1781)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, I had to sit between my parents in the car as they argued with one another for a whole hour over whether or not a thumb is a finger. FML

#19388204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19162) - you deserved it (1756)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by totalloss - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (1984)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (6009)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (9021)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19157) - you deserved it (44407)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

#6465466
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (25144)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by garlicbread (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19154) - you deserved it (8512)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19155) - you deserved it (7391)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

#7232950
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (5150)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

#20006832
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (6235)

On 08/07/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by Marcowalker95 - United States (California)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19148) - you deserved it (2136)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (2380)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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