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Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

#5698254
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (11582)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:57am - animals - by ScaryOldMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

#8313100
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (1561)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, while working as a cart attendant, I found one of my coworkers on a lawn chair sipping on a Bud light in the parking lot, while we both were supposed to be working, leaving me to push carts by myself. My boss comes out to me catching my breath and tells me to work harder. FML

#21444844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (1683)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:05am - work - by actionboy116 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

#19712104
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24539) - you deserved it (1555)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm - work - by Elmoo - Netherlands

Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML

#18797635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (43907)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

#8716730
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (7713)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:05pm - animals - by Man vs. Spider - United States

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (2094)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

#18009557
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24532) - you deserved it (4438)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:16pm - love - by pupitre (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24530) - you deserved it (3056)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (2071)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

#12706107
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24530) - you deserved it (9546)

On 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm - misc - by lizardface (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML

#18884103
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (5965)

On 01/22/2012 at 8:52pm - misc - by wrecked - United States



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