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Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (3858)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20074) - you deserved it (11533)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

#19243809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20076) - you deserved it (2375)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:48am - work - by Katie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

#713
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (1956)

On 01/05/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by sel2207 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (3387)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

#20132061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (1261)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

#19890540
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (1605)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (74328)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (9341)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (3555)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML

#362
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20061) - you deserved it (4798)

On 11/22/2008 at 2:02am - misc - by Goatkvlt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (40145)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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